“Maybe we should keep social distancing in place for situationships?”

I don’t know which feeling is more grim – lying awake beside a sleeping red flag who you know you should not be lying beside again, or waiting for that red flag to contact you in the days that follow. Either way, it doesn’t matter, you will both speak again when you’re three Pinot Grigios […]

“Was I really allowing myself to be here… again?”

I Think He's Gone Weird

I had an epiphany. No, the clouds didn’t open for me, there wasn’t a magical shimmer surrounding the moment, I was just sitting on my bedroom floor in front of a full-length mirror, munching on a bag of crisps and applying my foundation. Sitting between a bottle of Huda Faux Filter and the Salt and […]

“Here I was, completely confused in the loo of my local…”

I Think He's Gone Weird

There is nothing worse than hearing something you really don’t want to hear about one of your ‘What if’ guys. Even worse again when you’re four pornstar martinis in, you’re totally caught off guard in a pub loo, and the news you hear is about how loved up he is – with a gal who […]

“Was the connection always as absent as the shark attack?”

I Think He's Gone Weird

Waiting for him to contact you – absolutely bloody shit. Waiting for him to contact you when you know he probably, definitely, 100% won’t contact you – off the bloody shit Richter scale. I have found, in my many years of trying to analyse the male species, that the wait for him to reach out, […]

“Where are the women I poured my heart out to beside a sink full of vomit?”

I Think He's Gone Weird

We ponder the significant nights, the ones spent with temporary lovers, broken potential. The chaos of what could be lit up by glistening sequin dresses, a pop of highlighter, and pointy-toed stilettos. Kisses and arguments shared in between sips of pink gin, the fear gripping the night as we check the delivered status of that […]

“How many times can we analyse one fuckboy?”

I Think He's Gone Weird

How many times can we analyse one fuckboy? How many cups of tea have been downed when a situationship is also going down? There is something therapeutic about this process, the sound of the kettling boiling after the click of one gal, while the other one stares at a phone screen on the table, eagerly […]

“I was lost trying to navigate the potential of us…”

I Think He's Gone Weird

‘What does he think of me?’ I wondered as I started up Polly, my little blue Micra. There were two great mysteries in my life – The male brain, and the science behind parallel parking. I had yet to fully figure out either, and both had my stress levels at an all-time high. Trying to […]