“Your Worth Is Not Measured By Your Firsts…”

Gal, you are not falling behind in life. We are all falling behind in life. Well, it will always feel that way when we’re comparing our normal to the normal of others. What is normal anyway? Sounds awfully boring to me.

I have been inspired to post this from seeing the ‘Things I’m ashamed of’ trend on TikTok. Loving the trend, but feeling sad at the things people are ashamed of. There are so many things I could dive into here, from driving anxiety to living at home, but I’m going to focus on the relationship aspect for the ITHGW angle.

If you didn’t know this, I want to tell you that it is 10000% fine if you have never been in a relationship, or had a first kiss, had sex, had a guy go weird on you, had someone say they love you, or had a first anything. Honestly, age does not matter – I would rather be in a relationship with somebody who truly deserves me when I’m 51 than settling for the sake of a timeline, that has been structured by society, at age 21.

Firsts are overrated, they’re all hyped and give too much power to that timeline structure we all feel like we need to keep checking off. These things, these moments, are so much less and so much more than a checklist. There is so much pressure to keep ticking things off a list, and I think I can speak for all of us when I say we’re honestly so tired of it.

You are not weird, or unlovable, or embarrassing, or meant to store shame within your heart if you haven’t experienced these moments yet. You will have your moment when you are supposed to have your moment. I write about dating, dickheads, situationships, love and everything in between – but I want you to know how welcome you are here even if you can’t relate to these feelings yet.

What a wonderful feeling to know that these magic moments haven’t happened for you yet, that all the butterflies are yet to come. And hey, not experiencing these things yet is also great because it probably means you haven’t experienced the trauma that follows when you realise the guy is a bit of a dick anyway. Silver lining!

We’re always finding new firsts, it’s our first time here, trying to navigate all the pressures that society has piled onto us. You’re not falling behind, you’re not alone, and your worth is not measured by your firsts.

I see you, I love you, thanks for being here for the girlie giggles x

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