Life is a journey. We arrive at destination A, not by choice but by chance, and then have a middle part before we land at destination B. As my parents say: “We’re all just passing through.” Nobody knows how long the middle part will last, it varies, yet, we’re always in a rush to move through it, often desperate to tick boxes.
I have found, no matter how many people you have around a table, one of them will feel like they’re falling behind in some area of their life. I’m one of them. For some reason, we all dwell on the missing pieces of our lives, rather than the pieces we do have. The home, the career, the boyfriends, the family, the exams, the driving test – they’re not to-do lists with deadlines, they’re the things that come and go throughout our lives to keep us on our toes, enrich our paths and keep us hungry for more. Nothing in life would taste as sweet if it fell onto our lap at 19, we need to experience the climb to get there, the messy parts of life are the strength-builders.
For aaaages, I wanted to pass my driving test. It was a huge goal for me because it used to make me so anxious and I just wanted it done and dusted. And one day, finally, I did it. Done and dusted! And when that was done, I moved onto the next focus. I fly around the place now in Polly, my little Micra, and nobody treats me any differently than before because I was the only person who had put so much value on it. Nobody ever looked at me and thought I was falling behind. I wasn’t, I was living to my own timeline, and hitting that goal of mine when I was supposed to.
What is falling behind? Who set the rules for life and achievement? Success to me may look totally different to you, we are all shaped by different goals, passions, pasts and experiences. We all put value on different things – Some people may look at me and think they wouldn’t buy my car, but I love her. Polly isn’t new, she isn’t shiny or high-tech, she’s just mine. She’s stored my coffee cups, sleepover bags, munchies and everything else. She’s listened to me blast Taylor Swift when I’ve been feeling down in the dumps, and she’s taken me to the places that make me happy.
Somebody else may have no desire to publish a book, but it’s a dream of mine to walk into a bookshop and see my name on the shelf. I’ll get there when I’m supposed to, when it’s ready to unfold for me. The challenge only makes me want it more, so it’s on my vision board, manifesting each day.
I have yet to meet somebody who has it all figured out, that’s not how life works. It’s impossible to complete the checklist of life, because the checklist isn’t real. There is no checklist. We put too much pressure on societies sculpting of life, and don’t spend enough time in amazement. For me to even make it to age 27 is to be celebrated, some people don’t ever get to be that lucky. I’m meant to be here, in this moment, writing this piece. Right now, today.
I don’t want my entire life carved out by 27, I am still evolving and chasing daydreams that I’ve had for years. Having it all figured out would make life boring. I hope to have years and years left to meet the woman I am destined to become.
Your timeline is unique to you. You can learn to dance at 87, fall in love at 59 or discover a new dream tomorrow. You are here, you are breathing, you are blessed. You are not falling behind in life, I promise.
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