I’m in a pub, bank card waving in one hand, clutch bag in the other, waiting for my next vodka and blackcurrant at a buzzing bar. “Sorry there” he says. He being a handsome stranger who has also just managed to squeeze into a space at this busy bar. “Pint of Heineken, please” he asks, […]
There is nothing worse than hearing something you really don’t want to hear about one of your ‘What if’ guys. Even worse again when you’re four pornstar martinis in, you’re totally caught off guard in a pub loo, and the news you hear is about how loved up he is – with a gal who […]
Waiting for him to contact you – absolutely bloody shit. Waiting for him to contact you when you know he probably, definitely, 100% won’t contact you – off the bloody shit Richter scale. I have found, in my many years of trying to analyse the male species, that the wait for him to reach out, […]
Peeling icing off the most tasty slice of sponge, I wanted to keep looking at the cake. The detail, the way cakes always look so much more tasty when it isn’t time to cut them yet. Equally, I needed to try it. Was it flavoured? How was the texture? I started with the icing, and […]
We ponder the significant nights, the ones spent with temporary lovers, broken potential. The chaos of what could be lit up by glistening sequin dresses, a pop of highlighter, and pointy-toed stilettos. Kisses and arguments shared in between sips of pink gin, the fear gripping the night as we check the delivered status of that […]
How many times can we analyse one fuckboy? How many cups of tea have been downed when a situationship is also going down? There is something therapeutic about this process, the sound of the kettling boiling after the click of one gal, while the other one stares at a phone screen on the table, eagerly […]
Everything collapses around you, within moments, between each message beep and notification. He’s there, and then he’s gone. And you’re expected to just accept that that’s it, that all of this time spent together crumbled down to this moment – a half-eaten bag of Tesco tortilla chips and a hopping group chat with some very […]
‘What does he think of me?’ I wondered as I started up Polly, my little blue Micra. There were two great mysteries in my life – The male brain, and the science behind parallel parking. I had yet to fully figure out either, and both had my stress levels at an all-time high. Trying to […]
Look, I’m going to be honest, something about the thought of nights out is freaking me out. I don’t know if it is the fact that I’ll need to do a full body shave, the thought of facing the fella who messed me around at the start of lockdown one, the thoughts of trying to […]
We’re all on an endless hunt for something more, whether it’s a new wardrobe, a spiritual belief, a clear career path, more money, whatever it may be. There’s always something, no matter how big or small it may be. We don’t always know what other people want, and it has become increasingly obvious that we […]
There is something soothing about the way the ocean whistles when the weather is wild. The power of water and weather combines, and suddenly, it’s as if everything is connected. The thing is though, it is. I pick up a shell, my finger tips settling into the sand, and somehow all of these little things […]
Reaching for his wine, he looked nervous. I know I was, he was slowly morphing into familiarity. As much as I wanted more, I could not shake the feeling that this was a dead-end connection. I looked around me as I buttoned up my coat, did we look like strangers to everybody around us? Was […]
Happy anniversary to meee! This week marks a year since I started I Think He’s Gone Weird. One whole year. Can you believe it? I can’t! So, a year on, what has changed? As I sit here and mutter “Prick!” whilst I swipe past an ex on Tinder, I’m guessing not much. Luckily, I’m not […]
Watching a little bird flying across the big open field next to me and it got me thinking: How did he get here? Out of all the birds on earth, how come this one caught my eye tonight? And on a more relatable scale, out of all the billions of people on this earth, how […]
I was swiping on Tinder today and came across a guy who had a picture taken in a kitchen that looked similar to the kitchen of an almost-ex of mine. I was suddenly hit by a vision of him laughing, pouring me a cuppa and checking the pizza in the oven. That kitchen was the […]
There is a unique type of strength that reveals itself when you’re navigating through heartbreak. When the confusion discussions have died down, the gals have gone home, and his name sits coldly on your phone within last month’s conversations… you’re left to enter your empty bedroom and mourn the love that once was. And the […]
