“Here I was, completely confused in the loo of my local…”

I Think He's Gone Weird

There is nothing worse than hearing something you really don’t want to hear about one of your ‘What if’ guys. Even worse again when you’re four pornstar martinis in, you’re totally caught off guard in a pub loo, and the news you hear is about how loved up he is – with a gal who definitely is not you, because he is just one giant opened symbol that still haunts your Snapchat recents.

Somewhere between trying to button up my bodysuit and reapplying my lippie, I was learning about his new romance from a total stranger. Here I was nodding politely, trying not to projectile vomit all over this gal and her modern retelling of Romeo and Juliet.

I wondered how him and I had got here, all over again. Here I was, completely confused in the loo of my local, our chemistry and communication whittled down to this moment. And he wasn’t even here. My bestie’s eyes whispered: “Oh nooo” as she picked up on my energy beside her. No doubt she was ready to grab me incase I plummeted to the ground in total shock – a pool of pity and passionfruit collapsed at her new Shein sandals.

So what do you do when you head for a casual wee and leave the cubicle to hear the commitment news you were fearing ever since you realised that your spark with him wasn’t enough to bring you both to the finish line? Are full-coverage foundation and fluffy lashes ever really enough to mask the hurt? And when it comes to the girl’s bathroom, is this the place where he can become both the enemy of groups of women, and a ghostly presence from your past that gets thrown straight back into your present?

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