I Think He's Gone Weird
I Think He's Gone Weird

“Too many aftershave scents have you thinking: ‘Ah, what a complete and utter twat!'”…

I was swiping on Tinder today and came across a guy who had a picture taken in a kitchen that looked similar to the kitchen of an almost-ex of mine. I was suddenly hit by a vision of him laughing, pouring me a cuppa and checking the pizza in the oven. That kitchen was the last place our romance was at its best before he went totally weird on me. Pizza was fantastic, but I soon learned that our potential was melting at the same rate as the cheese. Yep, so after seeing this, naturally I fired my phone out of my bedroom window. Well, close, but I obviously swiped left. 

Isn’t it funny how some things just trigger you? Some places look like old love and not knowing better, some memories full on give you the ick, some pavements still feel like pink gin, Sally Hansen and regret, some turns have you saying: “Nooo let’s not drive this way!” and too many aftershave scents have you thinking: “Ah, what a complete and utter twat!” 

The most ordinary things in life become pain points pretty quickly when you become too invested in a fuckboy. Emotional vulnerability reveals itself at the most strange, unfortunate, and less glam of times – You’ll be dodging certain cars and the most everyday hoodies just incase your hurt has come back to haunt you in the form of an awkward “Hello” when you’re looking like a goblin who had too many Pinot Grigios the night before. 

So, with all the triggers, even when you have left the kitchen, have you ever really left if you’ve taken part of his heart and all of the memories with you? Next time, we’re only leaving with the pizza hun! 

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