Rant Of The Week: Dealing With The Breakup

I am sure I have talked about this topic before but I was trying to think of topics that I think you will enjoy reading and might give you all a lift or some advice and this was one of them so if it helps even one person who is going through this or something similar – great! By the way, I’m no expert. I’m just offering you advice from what I’ve learned from my past mistakes and how getting kicked out of nightclubs for crying and falling over, or going on Tinder and super liking the ex you’ve just been dumped by three days after the breakup because you need a cuddle is NOT a good idea no matter how encouraging your friends may be about it. Anyway, that’s enough about me, moving on…

The truth is, no matter how much advice you get, breakups are hard. In fact, they are bloody crap. You feel like your heart is being pecked at by an angry ostrich and you just want to fire a load of tomatoes at your ex’s house until you feel somewhat better and can bring the pity party to a close – Okay people, that’s a wrap, time to go home. I don’t want to tip toe around the truth and tell you you’ll be fine and will find someone better, I mean, you will, but when you haven’t reached that stage yet there are a lot of nitty gritty breakup details to take in to help you get where you need to be.

For many of us, breakups are our first taste of the feeling of a broken heart and sometimes you can feel like you will be trapped in this lost love limbo forever. The truth about breakups is that people don’t often talk about how much they hurt. We all shy away behind selfies to show we’re getting on with our lives when in reality we’re heading home to indulge in the Notebook for the 4th time this week. The bad thing about that? It’s only Tuesday… No, but seriously, you can try, but at the end of the day you can’t filter a broken heart.

If you lot think you have it bad, just remember that I am here offering advice and admitting how much of a blubbering mess I have been during breakups when it’s quite possible that my ex’s are reading this to see if I have tried to tear them apart (oh hey hun, you might want to shut down the laptop now…) Nah, I could try to ruin lives but the majority of these lads have seen me doing weird things like awkwardly dancing and shaking the bum I don’t have as I’m getting dressed or plucking those random boobs hairs (just me?) and I live in a small town where rumours spread quicker than my thigh flab when I sit down, so eh, let’s leave the slagging until a later point in my life when I’m more settled, or dead.

Firstly, the worst thing you can do during the raw stages of a breakup is dwell on nothing but the positive side of your relationship. I mean you will definitely do this because it’s a natural way to deal with a loss, but no offence, if you have broken up things couldn’t have been that swell. So yes, I’m sure he watched your favourite movie with you once in candlelight and it was all very romantic but I am here to remind you about the annoying foot tapping he kept doing or the way he was loudly rustling a crisp packet when Jack was no more than a dying glimmer of hope floating to the bottom of the North Atlantic. Did he watch this movie spontaneously or because you begged for weeks? Did he set it up in the garden on a summer’s night surrounded by fairy lights? Nah, all you got was him trying to get those last few salt and vinegar crumbs at the bottom of the bag at the most inconvenient time everrrr.

Secondly, when it comes to any forms of social media… delete. Delete. DELETE. I do not say this lightly. Ignore your friends who say “Don’t give him the satisfaction,” you’ve already given him plenty of that during your relationship just by being present in his life so adding a little “Cya!” to the end can’t possibly do any damage. Nothing good comes from creeping or him popping up in your newsfeed every 17 seconds as he is trying to prove how great his life is without you. Spoiler alert: His mum took that group “lads on tour” photo and Paul didn’t even make it past pre-drinks.

You will literally overthink everything. EVERYTHING. Porridge in that picture of his kitchen? That family always ate cornflakes, so who is this new porridge-eating woman on the block ready to steal my spot in his life? DELETE. I honestly never creep on ex’s, I usually block them until my bitterness dies down a little bit a few months later and then they get upgraded by getting unblocked and earn the privilege of being able to creep on me again as someone who has only been unfriended. My ex’s could honestly be dating Rihanna or have grown a world record beard (doubtful) and I wouldn’t know about it. Girl, focus on yourself and leave him to eat the porridge if he wishes.

Third, do not go out this weekend in your new €19 Penneys dress to try and make him jealous. I’m sorry to break it to you, but take it from me after many failed attempts at this plan – it won’t work and you aren’t ready. Honestly, you need time to heal. Seeing him will only upset you and you will spend your night wondering what he’s doing and who he’s with. Or he actually will get jealous and you end up going home with him. Either way, the breakup will still be just as painful the next morning whether you’re waking up in his bed or your own. What I’ve learned is you need time to absorb your unfortunate, blubbery, no makeup days in order to make your inner self feel permanently done up again.

My last point is, it’s all routine. A lot of the reason why you’re hurting so badly is because your plans have been messed up, your routine is changing and his name won’t be in your inbox anymore. Welcome change rather than fearing it because you can just create new routines and new memories with new people. I can promise you, even though it seems unbelievable now, it will get to the point where you can listen to people talk about him again without needing to block your ears and you will walk past him and even though you’re now both living separate lives, the memories will come flooding back but you’ll no longer feel like you’re drowning.

To conclude…

  • It wasn’t that swell so don’t start to dwell.
  • His Instagram was always boring anyway, he only updated it with pics of his car every eight weeks. Boy, bye.
  • He is not the occasion for your fab new dress, there will be plenty of occasions. Stay home and stay off Snapchat!
  • Start a new routine – Buy a turtle, take him for walks, plant some flowers, egg the house of that girl he told you not to worry about (your ex, not the turtle.) Love yourself!

I really hope this helped gals! And on a lighter note, when you’ve dragged yourself out of your tear and tissue filled bed and got your life back together a bit, let’s put things back into perspective here – Jennifer Aniston had to get over Brad Pitt, so I’m sure you can get over John without being too pathetic like me.

Good luck xx

My Early Midlife Crisis

It has been over a week since I made the absolutely insane decision of getting some random man to shove a needle through my nipple. I was hungover, extremely hungover. As my whole body was not functioning properly I decided it would be the perfect time to finally get that nipple piercing I have wanted since last year. Although I have to say, I did judge this perfectly and the pain didn’t hit me fully because I had already been through the wars the night before and all I could think was “Just take me and my nipple too…” I then came home to a list of people who asked “Why did you do that??” To be completely honest, I have absolutely no bloody idea. The sign on the door said they were gone for lunch so I was taking it as a sign and about to do a runner until the guy who worked there ran to remove the sign. Oh bloody hell.

The expectations were all too high, I had promised my friends I would and my sister was there beside me all smiley, waiting for this unnecessary pain and utter humiliation to fall upon her baby sister. You know what I was thinking? My whole body is drowning in misery and now I have committed to turning my nipple into some sort of freaky kebab skewer thing… absolutely bloody fantastic. I did it, I survived it and now I love it. Although, this is me, so it’s only a matter of time before all hell breaks loose and it becomes infected or falls off during a casual conversation in the smoking area with some potential shift.

How is life after the nip piercing you may ask? Ever since that trauma, nothing too exciting has been happening apart from forcing my best friend to google the distance to a hot guy’s home place from our exact location so I could edit my Tinder settings in the hope of finding him. Guess what? I didn’t. Mystery man does not appear to be on Tinder. Well, I’m not too upset. I mean we literally spoke once, but now I will never know what could have been with that random man who could genuinely have been a millionaire, a serial killer, or both. Like I said, I will never know. Sigh.

I have decided that I am definitely going through a very early midlife crisis. Piercings in strange places and stalking the home place of random men is not something that 7-year-old me had planned for her future as lead actress in the newest Bratz movie. I also didn’t think my greatest fears would be my life goals or bikini waxes but look, here we are. Also, are Bratz even still a thing? Do they still have heads bigger than my future?

If this wasn’t all dodgy enough, my family went away for a few days so I had a free house. Plans of a wild session turned into me eating chicken nuggets alone while crying my eyes out watching The Way We Were. That isn’t an exaggeration, I cried like a baby which was a pretty delayed reaction considering the movie came out in 1973. Tears were rolling down my cheeks and I just had my dog staring and judging me from her basket as I gobbled up that 7th nugget and washed it down with a bottle of cheap lager. I cannot explain what happened to me that night. I have been super positive the past few weeks but all of a sudden I had to wail. A lot. It was sad. So sad that I can’t even blame the dog for judging me because she was so right – morto!

After this, I cleaned my nipple piercing and went to bed. Alone. Just me and my dodgy nip against the world. I was in no way drunk, I think I cried out the few bottles I drank. The good news is I am fine now, although I can’t look at my dog in the same way ever again without thinking about how she witnessed this break down of my entire character and being. Say nothing, girlo. What happens in 1973, stays in 1973.

Lilac Love With DV8

Hey gals!

I have collaborated with DV8, one of my favourite stores, for this post as they were kind enough to send me an outfit of my choice to style and shoot. In this post I am styling the Ax Paris Lilac Suede Dress.

Can I just say before I start, I LOVE these suede style dresses! Honestly, I think they are so gorgeous and I have adored them since day one. Two of my friends have them and the temptation to try and squeeze my bum into them has always been too real. However, quite often the colours are darker but we all know I love my outfits to make a statement so when I spotted this lilac dress I knew it had to be mine. Lilac is so popular at the moment and I’m going to Prague in August so this will definitely be one of my outfits among the 500 I always find it necessary to bring on holiday! They also had other colours to choose from such as pink and navy so you will definitely find something to suit your taste (or just buy every colour because you know, treat yourself!)

One of the things I love the most about this dress is that it can be dressed up or down. I would definitely rock this on a night out on the town, for a casual lunch with the girls or as the perfect outfit for a first date. The high neck keeps it classic and chic whilst the way it goes up into a dip on the side of the thigh adds a little bit of an edge.

I’m a bit of a denim addict myself so I chose to team it with my beloved over-sized vintage denim jacket (when I say vintage I mean it belonged to my dad in the 90s. Soz Dad, you’re officially vintage!) a pair of fishnets, chunky high heels and fluffy earrings. However, I think it would look equally stunning with a delicate pair of earrings, elegant high heels, a pretty clutch bag and hair pulled back into a loose upstyle. Can you cope with the thought of this dress with a pair of oversized sunnies? So fab. Yes, I do live in Clonmel but I was definitely destined for Calabasas with Kylie Jenner, things just didn’t work out that way…

If you’re looking to snap up this dress for Saturday night or just to slay in your next insta selfie then you can find it here. Be sure to check out DV8 Fashion for loads of fab styles and inspiration!

No doubt the rest of my friends group will be buying one of these dresses now after seeing this post and we will all be going around as the suede sisters… The next major girlband perhaps? Also, my sister loves it so I’m surprised it didn’t suddenly go missing before I wrote this blog post… we all know how scheming sisters can be…

Thanks so much to DV8 for bringing this lilac beauty into my life and wardrobe! Hope you all loved this post and love this dress as much as I do 🙂 xx
**This dress was gifted to me by DV8 for our collaboration** 

Foxy Fashion – June 2017

Welcomes back to another Foxy Fashion post! Woah, that month flew.  The weather in June was a bit all over the place (much like my life) soooo I didn’t really know what to be wearing half the time, but anyway, here is my Foxy Fashion for June!

This black and white dress has been in my wardrobe for over a year, it was from Boohoo and I just fell in love with it. I love the illusion at the side with the black and white because I think it’s really flattering. Okay, look, to be honest I actually had spanx on and couldn’t breathe. Anyway, I wore it with my trusty white heels and a thick black choker. Simple and timeless.

This is the outfit I wore to the Penneys Press Day in Dublin. I styled the outfit around the shoes because they’re so pretty with the embroidery and pop of pink. The top and shoes are both from Penneys a while back and the skirt has been sitting in my wardrobe for years and comes out whenever I need the Carrie Bradshaw confidence. I think people either love or hate the shoes, I personally love them and when I bought them they were the last pair and an absolute bargain.

I always seem to style outfits around one particular piece of clothing and this time it was this embroidered floral belt (am I seeing a pattern here?) I honestly fell in love with it when I saw it in Penneys and I knew I just had to have it because I’ve wanted one for ages. I’ve gotten so much use out of it already. I found this outfit very fun and flirty because of the skater style of the skirt. It also looked nice with a black top but I found the red much more striking. Girls just want to have fun and all that!

This next outfit was the day after the fun and flirty outfit night so I was very hungover, very warm and needed the oversized denim jacket to hide my dodgy tan. Luckily I am still bronzed in this picture so didn’t look too close to death! These Chanel style espadrilles were from Heatons, the Jacket was my dads as we already know and the skirt was another Penneys bargain yet again.

As I said in the original post, I completely forgot I had this polka dot dress! No joke I have had it for YEARS. I think it was Penneys? Can’t remember but I would assume so. I think it is so girly and perfect for those relaxed summer days. Very 1950s! It might be a bit daring as a casual everyday look for some people but I personally love standing out and making an impact with colour and print.

I have saved my favourite outfit until last, it is also the most recent! This outfit I wore to the Matte To Metallic and Makeup Revolution Masterclass in Morrison’s Pharmacy, Cahir was giving me all sorts of pirate vibes last week! Once again the belt has made a comeback and I have teamed it with those dramatic sleeves and a pair of comfy yet chic pants from boohoo. I know I always mention pirate vibes lately, even in my last Foxy Fashion post, but honestly that was all I could think of with this one.

That’s all from Foxy Fashion for another month. We will have to see what the upcoming weather will bring because knowing Ireland I could be styling raincoats by next month. So which was your favourite? Are you inspired by the queen of quirky style Carrie Bradshaw? Or are you ready to run away with captain Jack Sparrow?