Find Yourself First

I was never the type of girl who would put a pause on the arrival of Prince Charming. In fact, I would regularly play made up romantic situations in my head and wait for the day he would finally come along and sweep me off my feet. Today, as I am staring out the window of my tower, or should I say bedroom, I can confirm that that day has still not arrived. Don’t get me wrong, potential ones have come and gone but there was none that made it to the end, none of them braved the dragon and stuck around long enough to save me. Quite often it turned out the ones who got the closest ended up being the ones that needed to be saved and the door was shut on us before I could even try to enter.
As I got older, the hopeless romantic in me did not die, and she is still there – a part of me waiting for the day my dream will finally come true and I will meet the man of my dreams, the man I always talked about meeting and the one who would stay with me and would finally be my happy ending. And don’t get me wrong, I am looking forward to that because it is not a weakness to want to spend your life with a man that loves you. I still firmly believe that happy endings don’t only exist in fairytales. However, during this time of growing up I realised how extremely difficult finding that love can be. Having a heart that is ready to give and take means it is out there, completely vulnerable and able to get hurt. It is this heart that so many people hide away for that reason, they shut their heart off from being accessed so that it remains in a perfect condition. Again, having a heart like mine isn’t a weakness, and trust me, it may not look so perfect anymore, there are plenty of cuts and bruises from the poor handling by other people who did not care enough to properly look after the most valuable part of me.
As you grow up and try to find yourself, I can guarantee you at least once you will wonder “What is wrong with me?” You will not be able to comprehend why your friends have boyfriends and you don’t, or why things never work out for you or why that one person you would change the world for always leaves you high and dry. And then the worst thing happens in the world… your heart will get broken. And when I say broken I mean really broken like never before. The mention of his name will send shockwaves through you and your only chance of survival will seem to be cutting him out of your life and hoping you don’t bump into him when you’re running into a shop or on a night out. You will cry, you will hurt and you will hate – You will hate everyone’s advice and you will hate yourself for not hating him.
After a while your heart will begin to heal itself because time changes everything, you will realise how strong you can be, but you will also get used to not feeling good enough, more men will come and go and you will come to terms with the feeling of loneliness. You get your hopes up and go on dates and end up back where you started because right now you believe that you are the damsel in distress, struggling to survive by yourself and thinking it will be this way forever. Trust me, I know.
Then, out of the blue, something will set in your mind. Right now I don’t have a boyfriend to call when I’m sad or to watch new films with, and I don’t have a man’s name to put in my Instagram bio. Right now I have to fill the empty part of my heart myself, because maybe this spot isn’t reserved for someone else. Maybe there is something missing in my heart but it is adventure and new experiences. Maybe I’m the only person who can really push myself to do things and if I happen to meet Prince Charming along the way then so be it. Maybe waiting for Prince Charming is our greatest downfall because he isn’t waiting at all, he is out there living, writing the stories that he will tell us when he happens to stumble across us and our souls collide on top of a mountain in Asia or in a random coffee shop on a Tuesday afternoon, somewhere in Europe. Maybe when we stop looking for Prince Charming we will find ourselves, the person we really need to find. 
Giving somebody else the power to save you will only kill you in the long run. Finding love is exciting, but waiting for love isn’t. In order to fall you have to be in a risky situation, so why should falling in love be any different? Timing is everything. Fill that empty space in your heart with living – with happiness, with laughter, with risks, with new places and new experiences and maybe, when your heart is overflowing with a love of life and you are writing your own happy ending, maybe you will be lucky enough to stumble across the other half of your soul and he will tag along with you on the rest of your adventures.

Inglot Roadshow

It has been over a week since I went to the Inglot Roadshow in the Clonmel Park Hotel and I had such a lovely day so I have decided to sit down and blog about it.

Firstly, if you’re thinking of going to one of the Roadshows you should definitely do it.  Tickets were only €15 and it was on from 2-5pm. I have wanted to go for ages because I obviously love makeup, and when the day finally came around I was so excited. I went with my friend Emma as she is as makeup mad as I am. I also bumped into my lovely makeup artist friends Donna and Catriona, hadn’t seen them in aaages! So nice to catch up.

When we got there the queue was insane and we saw Jane walking around with her phone snapping us all, so the excitement really started to set in then. We were seated in the second row and had an amazing view of the stage, and they also had tv screens set up around the room which was so handy if you couldn’t see the stage properly.
The Inglot makeup artists that were there were Maria Murphy, Ellie McDonough, Niamh Cleary, Lorna Ryan and Keilidh Cashell. They each ran through a different demo and it was so great to learn their tips and see their individual tricks and how they all do things that bit differently. It just shows how makeup really is an art that lets your own creativity shine through! I don’t want to give too much away incase you do want to go because it was exciting not knowing what to expect on the day.
There was also a Q&A and Jane Swarbrigg came on stage to chat to us all too. I was so glad Jane was there because she was so inspiring with how she has grown Inglot here in Ireland but she was still so down to earth and approachable which I think is so important if you are in business, especially when you are largely appealing to an audience of younger females. During the Q&A I asked them their favourite products to achieve dewy skin and they all advised the SPF Primer and the Face Mist, they all seemed to really rely on these for that glowing, summer skin look. I have bought the Face Mist since, can’t wait to try it. 
Afterwards we could have a chat to all the girls and have our foundation and brows matched. I got a HD tester because I needed a new night out foundation and ended up buying one recently when I was in Dublin – in love! I was so delighted with how the Inglot girls were, they were all so friendly and real. There was no competition in the air, they were all so genuine and happy to help and advise which says so much for the company. Apart from their amazing products, this is a huge factor which keeps me coming back to Inglot, the way the girls talk to you is so refreshing because you feel like you’re getting advice from a friend rather than feeling clueless and as if you’re a nuisance when you ask lots of questions. 

While the girls were doing the matching, we had the opportunity to chat to Jane and Keilidh. I have to say I got wayyyy too excited meeting Keilidh, fangirl moment! I was even a bit nervous to go up to her. What I love about her is how she is so quirky and creative with her talent, she really expresses herself however she wants to and I idolise that about her. She is also so funny and relatable. Yes, she also hugged me… just me who’s still excited?!
So there you go, my thoughts on the Inglot Roadshow. I would actually love to do the day all over again. If you’re thinking of going to the next round of Roadshows, definitely go! It was so affordable, I learned so much, I got to meet some really inspirational ladies and it was such a lovely girly day out with my best friend Emma because we are both passionate about it. We love makeup, don’t think our bank accounts do though! I now have all the notes I took down in the booklet they gave us to refer back to, products to look into and details on the favourite products of the MUAs present on the day.
Anyone want to drive me to my closest Inglot store, nah?!
Happy makeup shopping and tutorial watching xx

Rant Of The Week: Dublin And Doubts

Despite being the most loud and in your face person, simple things such as ordering a cup of tea in an unfamiliar cafe by myself used to send a fear through me which was worse than three Sundays in a row over the party season. It is only the past year or so that I have started to be more independent and face things by myself. The scariest of this was probably this week when I went up to an event in Dublin by myself, something I never would have done before. It may sound weird to some people, but whenever I go anywhere I usually follow my sister around like an annoying puppy and leave her to do all the organising, I think this was because whenever we were young she was always the one in charge.

Anyway, sister-less yet stylish, off I went and well, lets just say, I’m still here to write this post, aren’t I? I started the day off with a fab skirt and my Fenella necklace to set my day off with an empowering Carrie Bradshaw vibe. I mean, at no point in Sex and the City do I remember Carrie sitting on a bus eating cheestrings, but hey, I’m here to spice things up a little. Also, Carrie could walk properly in her heels, I on the other hand could not, but I’ll tell you more about that later.

My mum dropped me off to the bus at 8am and I did my usual thing where I use humour to mask my insecurities – “Thanks mum, I’ll text you later, if I ever get there and don’t end up somewhere else!” were the words that came out of my mouth, but in reality my head was shouting “YOU GAVE BIRTH TO ME AND ARE JUST GOING TO LET ME RUN LOOSE IN A CITY ALONE AT 21??? WHAT IF I DO END UP SOMEWHERE ELSE, DO YOU HAVE A SOLID PLAN OF ACTION WITH HOW WE WILL DEAL WITH IT?” I then proceeded to ask her 15 times if I was getting on the right bus, and she was quick to remind me that the big “Dublin” sign on the front slightly gave it away. Oh. 
So when I got on the bus I was quite comfortable because the bus driver was very friendly and I actually had packed cheestrings for the journey. I didn’t even need to worry about my iPhone’s crappy battery because my mum gave me her iPod (my one is broken and I can’t travel without music.) So anyway, I dozed off listening to Jason Mraz, Bruno Mars, Keane, Lionel Richie, the occasional Christmas Song and Kenny Rogers (thanks mum) when I was in a complete dreamlike state. All was fine until the crucial bus moment –  a moment that still turns my cheeks bright red with embarrassment. I woke up, face squashed up to the window, mouth wide open, the possibility of a little bit of dribble sliding down the window, and I turned to my left, looked out the window to see a school bus of kids staring back, waving at me. WAVING AT ME WHILE I WAS ASLEEP. There they were, watching me dream about Kenny Rogers. They were, in the words of Peter Kay, bold as brass. If they took pictures and I end up getting turned into a meme, I am so done! Right, unfortunately I can feel my cheeks starting to heat up again. MOVING ON. 
After that minor inconvenience, everything got much worse to be really bloody honest. My beautiful heels were squashing my feet and I was unable to balance my body because all my weight seemed to be falling onto my toes – 47 cheestrings later and it’s safe to say I had several regrets, I was definitely lighter when I got on the bus. I was half tempted to google “How to lose cheestring weight quickly” but, as usual, my signal was so bad. The worst part about stumbling in heels? Trying to play it cool when you know very well at least five people are waiting in anticipation for you to face plant the rain soaked street. Yes, I know, the weather has been fab all week, not when I decided to go to Dublin though. On top of all this I was trying to make sure people didn’t think there was a full moon in Dublin at 11am when my skirt kept creeping upwards. Excuse me skirt, I kindly brought you into my life, so can you not? 
I then got lost after using the toilet, I was completely thrown, my plans to be there by just after 11:00 were soon blurring into 12:00 on my watch and I had no idea where I was going. Google Maps told me many times that I had reached my location, but that was 100% wrong unless my location was supposed to be some (probably drunk) man who kept saying “You’re breaking my heart!” Eventually though, I arrived at the event… This heartbreaker was in the building, bitchesss. I also had a fabulous time and all was absolutely splendid – so many laughs were had and so much style to indulge in! 
I took off my heels when it was over and ended up happily breezing through the city for the next hour or so completely pain and stress free. I even got a spot on the bus home I wanted, which I had been panicking about earlier too. However, of course, this being a day in the life of Fenella Fox, mirroring a chapter of Bridget Jones Diary, I got off the bus ready to pop into another event and managed to land in a puddle that splattered mud all over my bare, freshly shaved legs. The only positive of this was it probably evened out my week long tan which was now just half fading chunks. Sun kissed always turns into sun vomit eventually and there I was trying to balance whilst I wiped clean one leg, unable to sit on the bench beside me which was empty apart from the remains of when the heavens had opened a few minutes before. 
Did I survive travelling alone? Yes! Could I do it again? Definitely! Would I do it again? Not until Google Maps gets its life together – Mate, we weren’t even kind of close to where we needed to be. I also wouldn’t use the loo again because it threw me off and I lost all sense of direction when I took a right into that cubicle of doom. Don’t get me wrong, adventures are endless excitement and the highlight of our lives, but there’s no place like home! Saying that though, risky days often turn out to be our proudest memories and of course I feel so proud of myself now because I did it, even though I doubted myself to begin with.