I Think He's Gone Weird
General I Think He's Gone Weird

“‘This water isn’t heating up at all, I wonder is there something wrong with the immersion switch?’ Oh no. PLEASE NO…”

I was caught deep in an awful idea, I had a free house and a current beau was on his way over. Needless to say, it wasn’t for an aul chat and cappuccino. Also, needless to say, when I say ‘beau’ I actually mean we had been texting on and off for a while, there would be no white dress and bridesmaids or anything like that, don’t get too excited gals.

When my visitor arrived I found myself pacing the sitting room trying to decide what activity made me come across cool and chic. The grand idea ended up being sitting on the couch. Very sophisticated. Especially when topped off with a classic: “Hey, how are you?”

Anyway, let me get to the juicy parts. We had made it past the small talk phase and were shifting passionately upstairs. Before I knew it, I was slammed against the wall, living through a real life romcom minus the happy ending. So, here’s where the vibes go seriously rural Ireland. No honestly, please brace yourselves for a serious GO TOBANN moment. Whilst everything was heating up in the beau department, my back caught the immersion switch, which I then felt click behind me. Oh god, how could I relax at that point, what if I forgot to turn it off? My parents were out of the house but my god would my mother kill me. The immersion is no joke.

I couldn’t relax from this moment onwards, sparks flying and all I could think was “DO NOT FORGET TO TURN OFF THE IMMERSION, DO NOT FORGET!” The STRESS.

Funnily enough, the worst part wasn’t how much I subconsciously killed the whole vibe, it was when my parents finally came home. Of course overwhelmed with immersion guilt, I spilled the beans to my mum, who found the whole ordeal GAS (borderline traumatic also.) However, things only went downhill from here. Everything got much worse one evening when I was happily brushing my hair in my bedroom and heard my dear father shout out: “This water isn’t heating up at all, I wonder is there something wrong with the immersion? Has someone messed with the switch?” Oh no. PLEASE NO.

Yep, I really had broken the bloody immersion whilst getting down and dirty. Talk about ride or die. Or both. I’m not sure what higher power is out there, but my god did I pray to everyone out there to get that switch working again. God got a call, my dead pets a telepathic message, hell, Satan almost got a WhatsApp from me. The poor plumber from 18 years ago was getting some serious stick that night as my friendly visitor received none of the blame. I mean, how do you tell your father that the immersion wasn’t the only thing heating up that night? Exactly, you don’t.

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