Rant Of The Week: Living In A Zoo

Okay, well obviously I don’t actually live in a zoo but sometimes I feel like I do. We have six cats, SIX CATS. I know, crazy right? We also have two dogs and numerous goldfish. I personally want an elephant or micro pig but I’ve been waiting a while and have a feeling I’ll be waiting a while longer. The reason for our zoo? We usually take in stray animals who we can’t find homes for. They just kinda wander into our little rural animal orphanage. Of course this usually happens when mum is working because as always, Dad is much easier to convince. He complains about it later, but he loves them really. If God went on a hunt to find a present day Noah, my dad would be the easiest target ever. Just dad and his ark, no biggie.
Anyway, the reason why this has become a rant is because I have animals coming out of my ears. I don’t even really like animals! I have a fear of dogs and kept having a flashback to me as a baby sitting on a picnic blanket and then a dog ran over and I burst into tears because it was so much bigger than me. I genuinely thought I was going crazy until my mum told me it happened. So that explains it, I was traumatised from a young age. I would be much happier having an elephant in my garden rather than dogs. Harsh, but true. Soz Mitsy and Zorro. Apparently elephants are too expensive and hard to keep though, and dad thinks I won’t look after it properly. Rude…

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