Wednesday, 20 July 2016

Rant Of The Week: Why I Swiftly Decided To Remain A Swiftie

It's first thing on a Tuesday morning, I am sitting here staring at this empty blog post while the kettle is boiling and there is mayhem in Celebville. Has this dramatically influenced my future in any way? Doubtful. I can hear Taylor Swift's voice playing through my phone as usual, and my Instagram is probably open on one of the Kardashian's accounts. However, what also hasn't changed is the sad and disappointed feeling in my heart as I scroll through social media to see things about the end of Taylor Swift and how she has, according to some people, been exposed for who she really is. Sadly, in a society that usually fights so hard not to tear down other women, a very talented and inspiring young woman is probably at a very low point in her life as she faces backlash for moving on to a new boyfriend and for an ever ongoing feud with an already very controversial celebrity power couple.

For the record, anyone who knows me knows I LOVE both Taylor Swift and Kim Kardashian. When it comes to celebrities, these two are my ultimate favourites. I admire them in very different ways - Taylor for using her extraordinary talent to, in a way, expand her girl squad to millions and for rising to a height of fame purely using her music. She is the woman I turn to in times of need and when I need a good pick me up. When it comes to Kim Kardashian, scrolling through her Insta is part of my everyday social media routine and I just love keeping up with her fashion, North's antics, her extravagant life and the way she will go to the ends of the earth to defend the ones she loves - as we have seen recently with her defense of Kanye on Snapchat. It is because of this strong love of both why I find the Snapchat revelation upsetting, and downright awkward. It's like when two of your friends get into an argument and you're stuck in the middle weighing up both sides of the argument but really wishing you had a time machine to go back and stop one of their current husbands storming on stage during the other one's VMA speech in 2009. I think we've all been there.

I was going to comment on the Katy Perry and Calvin Harris saga, but after this Kimye situation has now taken over the internet instead I feel that has quickly been forgotten. I'm sure we all have a Katy Perry - that one girl you just don't get along with and haven't for years. And as for Calvin Harris, how many people have completely healthy friendships with an ex after a break-up? There was always going to be issues there as Taylor moves on, which she has the right to do. I don't know the full details of any of those relationships because none of us do.

For a moment though, can we remove ourselves from the fame and money filled celebrity bubble? Can we imagine that this is an argument happening between normal people? Wouldn't we consider terms such as 'RIP Taylor Swift' and snake emoji's under all of their photos as bullying? Can't anyone see how this would affect her mental health? Don't people realise we actually know nothing about the truth of what has happened? And where have Kim and Kanye's huge army army suddenly risen from? The pit the media is trying to push Taylor Swift into? For a moment, please think about how sick you are of seeing stories about it on your newsfeed, now imagine you are Taylor scrolling through all of these - being told your career is over, your image is destroyed forever, your group of friends aren't as great as they seem and having people trying to snatch your crown as America's Sweetheart from your head all because of an argument over a song many of us knew nothing about months/years earlier. Sorry, Kanye!

This won't be an issue for everyone though, lots of people have no interest in celebrity gossip, and if you're with Taylor for her music you're staying with her. I have been to two Taylor Swift concerts in my lifetime, I have seen the masses and masses of crowds travelling from near and far to see this woman in person. So if you're trying to tell me that 85 million Instagram and 79 million Twitter followers later that this is the end of this ladies career, I can tell you that you have never been more wrong. Even if these millions of people decided to give up on her, she still has my support and the support of her friends behind her, so her career is still very much alive!

It's time to get the snake emoji out of your recents, stop complaining about her fourth of July pictures, stop pretending you're a hardcore Kimye fan, stop pretending the cause of their argument dramatically affected your life and realise that somewhere in the world there is probably a very talented, powerful, 26-year old woman crying to Tom Hiddleston because of an uncontrollable mass of cyber bullying. At least Taylor's squad all support and empower each other, whether you love them or hate them you can't deny their loyalty. If you're attending the #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty today, don't try and change your mind tomorrow after you've already had the party bag and made your opinion known just because you need something new to write about.

I know I don't know what really happened, but in reality none of us ever will. There are questions that have been left unanswered and of course there are fans that have been left disappointed and confused. However, as respectable people of the world we all need to open our eyes and realise that whether you are on Taylor's side or not, whether she was lying or not, whether the Kardashians dislike her or not, trying to turn an entire world against one woman isn't the world we need to be living in. Surely we have faced worse villains in our time, right?


Wednesday, 13 July 2016

How To Know If You're Friend-Zoned On Snapchat



Snapchat is by far one of the most loved and most hated social media apps. Loved because let's face it, who doesn't love turning themself into a slice of toast or face swapping with Kylie Jenner?! However, it can be deadly when you receive an unexpected snap from a potential partner as you're covered in sudocrem or after you've been drunk crying. Most girls have numerous personalities on Snapchat, but understandably, if you're a man you may struggle to tell if you're out of the Friend -Zone or in the Friend-Zone. I know I have several close male friends who have screenshots of me that could potentially ruin my life but hey, I sent them that level of ugly so the trust is there, don't let me down lads! However, snapping a boy you're interested in is a completely different kettle of fish altogether - the time gets lowered, the pretty filters make an appearance and the other boys you were snapping can get slightly ignored (Soz huns!)

Let's just say if you ever struggled to decide whether I was into you or not, you will now know! If she's sending you the first side of the pictures below, appreciate the time and planning that went into those few seconds of perfection and if you're on the second side, errrrr, it might be time to move on if you were sending her the first side...
 

When you're genuinely just an average gal who loves the dog filter more than life itself... 

Bae vs. Bestie


When you can't think of anything else to say but the conversation was beginning to die...

Bae vs. Bestie


Letting them know your current romantic situation... 

Bae vs. Bestie


Reminding them how drunk you were last night to explain any embarrassing snaps you may have sent...

Bae vs. Bestie


The 'I'm so chill, comfortable in my own skin and not like other girls' no make-up selfie 

Bae vs. Bestie


When you need to suck up to him to make sure he doesn't think you're a miserable cow but you're past that stage with your mates....


Bae vs. Bestie


Embracing who you really are...

Bae vs. Bestie


When the trust level really matters...

Bae vs. Bestie


Pointing out your own flaws so they know you're up for a laugh...

Bae vs. Bestie

Hope you enjoyed this post and I'm sure many of you can relate! If you want to test this theory out for yourself feel free to follow me on Snapchat! Username: fenellafoxy :) Or if we're already friends on Snapchat you can proceed to cry or do a runner when you realise you're not on the side you want to be on, sorryyyyy...

Tuesday, 12 July 2016

Rant Of The Week: Don't Be Hosting The Ghosting

It's quarter past 6 on a Tuesday evening and you're patiently waiting for the Snapchat 'opened' symbol to turn into a message you have yet to open. You wait and wait, make a cup of tea, wash your dog, paint your toenails, think about what the reply is going to be, get married, have three kids, buy a house, get your pension, and still nothing. Maybe he's busy? Maybe he's lost wifi? Maybe he doesn't know what to reply? Or maybe he's er, ghosted me? Ghosting is a common occurrence in today's society, you think you're getting to know someone and get used to talking to them, hope it's going somewhere and then BOOM, before you know it, he's gone, disappeared off the face of the earth while you're left to over analyse every moment leading up to him doing a runner. Were my snaps too ugly too soon? Was I too clingy? Did I become an eager beaver? Is he thick?
 


You try not to panic too much because it's still early but then one opened symbol and forty angry texts in your squad's group chat later makes you ask yourself - when did ghosting become okay? When did people decide it was completely acceptable to just cut people off without any reason or explanation? We wouldn't do this in person, right? You wouldn't just climb out of the closest window in the middle of a lunch date (I hope!) As much as we hate to admit it, I think we have all been a victim of ghosting at some point in our dating history. You soon start to realise your Ross and Rachel idea of the romance was completely false and unrealistic and in reality you now know that he saw you as more of a Janice than a Rachel. So what does send many of today's males out the door? Are they running from commitment? Do they think by ghosting you they're escaping their own ghosts? Do they just fancy a new life outside of your social media accounts? Again, are they just thick? Even if you do see him, chances are he will blank you or just nod awkwardly, acting oblivious and trying to pretend the last four Thirsty Thursdays never happened.


Funnily enough, if we try to make contact to find our feet and figure out where we stand in the on/off/are we/aren't we relationship we are seen as clingy and crazy while the world's greatest escape artist running for the hills and completely leaving us in the dark is seen as the norm. Wasn't it going well? Didn't we have similar interests? Didn't our kiss send sparks flying? Didn't he appreciate how cute I looked with the dog filter? I put makeup on at 11.30pm for him! You start to come up with all these extreme scenarios in your head about his whereabouts - Is he back with his ex he was with four years ago? Has he gone into witness protection? Was he texting me as some sort of a sick joke all along? Am I going to be on Catfish?? You then rule out all of these when you watch him go through 3 girls in one night and then read 'Sorry, I'm just in a bad place at the moment' in his cowardly text back 47 weeks after you politely (demanded with gun emojis) asked for an explanation. You aren't really sorry though, are you mate? Where is this bad place many of today's eligible bachelors are living in? Hell? Their ex-girlfriends mind? Mr Big's shoes? I'd say that area is now sprawling into the suburbs by the minute at the rate us lovely ladies are being left in the dark re-reading all our sent texts.


After watching many different and also many similar experiences in the lives of myself and my friends, I have realised that as painful as it is, the truth is if he ghosts you he's not the one. Do you really want a man who couldn't care less if you go days or weeks without talking? Do you want a partner who is that cowardly? 20 years down the line he'll tell you he's picking up a takeaway and then you'll spot him in the background of a random documentary that was filmed in Peru. You coming back hun? Can you please let me know so I have an idea of how many potatoes I need to cook for dinner? Ladies, if he ain't gonna chase you, he wont wait long to replace you! May the ghoster become the ghostee!

Sunday, 3 July 2016

Rant Of The Week: An Open Letter To The Men Who Broke Our Hearts

Dear youthful men of our generation,

I know this is not all of you, but if you happen to relate to this piece of writing then chances are you are a heartbreaker (don't act so surprised, you know she hasn't blocked you off every social media account for nothing!) This is a common practise these days, much like the Valencia filter, pre-drinking or spending more time photographing your breakfast rather than actually eating it. I'm really hoping the mind games lifestyle is a trend that will soon pass in my life the same way as foundation lips, chunky highlights or studded belts did. As a girl who has met many heartbreakers in her short 20 years, I would like to alert you to our thoughts on the topic. Firstly, it isn't something to brag about. Nobody really cares if you have trouble committing because of underlying heartbreak from the girlfriend you had when you were 12. We aren't all like her, but by leading us on you're passing your own trust issues on to us and when we meet the male equivalent of ourselves we will not want to trust him because we will worry he will be like you. This is not fair on him and will again have a knock on effect. Also, if she messed up your life as much as you make out then please stop contacting her. This will make us insecure and we will find out one way or another, whether we mean to or not, we're like the FBI. And don't blame your friends for your faults, poor Paul is probably completely oblivious to this argument as he plays on the Xbox or watches the Euros.

On another topic, if all is going well between us but it gets to the stage where you disappear for no reason whatsoever, then please ask yourself why... is this necessary? Did you plan on driving our sanity up the walls? Are you just doing it for the fun of it? If yes, then please realise that this doesn't make you a hero, in fact it makes you idiotic and we would prefer it if you would just be honest with us. What is so enjoyable about leaving her waiting, wondering and in the dark? While you're messing with her heart, 10 more decent men are dreaming of getting a chance to respect it, remember that. Chances are in many cases she only has eyes for you at this moment, so don't continue to blind her. If this disappearing act goes on for a long time then don't make a dramatic comeback when we finally move on and find happiness. Jealousy doesn't direct you to the person you want to be with so don't lure us into a false sense of security with promises of the world and future happiness. Don't waste our time, we have better things to waste tears on and our poor girlfriends have enough issues with their own version of you without my problems going on top of that.

If you don't want to be with a girl then don't be with her. Simple as that. Don't try to manipulate her feelings and take pieces of her that you know you don't really deserve. We don't find dysfunctional Prince Charmings cute, none of them were like this in the movies we watched repeatedly when we were young and we are not going to sit around and wait for you while you gallivant around the kingdom on your white horses looking for other ladies of the land. We aren't all after a Mr. Big, we don't want to convince a man to love us and chase him until he is finally ready to be a man, say how he feels and be with us. This isn't healthy, and no woman wants to wake up in the morning wondering whether the man lying beside her really wants to be there. You know you wouldn't want these actions done to your sister, daughter or best friend, so why are you doing it to someone else's sister, daughter or best friend?

If you broke her heart and are genuinely sorry, then don't do it again. One sorry is bad enough, but when she is asking her friends 'which time was that again?' then let's face it, you weren't really sorry. Everything can change in an instant and God forbid one day you may never get the chance to even try to apologise. False promises don't fix broken hearts, they just secure them until it loosens again. If you break her heart then you bump into her and she can still look you in the eye, please be aware of the amazing woman you just lost due to senseless immaturity. And if she can't look you in the eye, please be aware of the same thing. Every woman deals with a broken heart differently, and every relationship is different. You aren't a child - women aren't toys that you only want to play with when someone else has them. Every woman is a woman - somebody's daughter, best friend and happy place. If she isn't your happy place then don't pretend you can be hers.

Step out of your little bubble of heartbreakers and look at the world around you rather than through a computer screen. Appreciate her beauty, don't compare it. Some people crave the buzz of cities and some people the tranquility and peace of nature, this is the same with people. All are different, but all are spectacular, so if you aren't mature enough to realise this then please walk away. On the other hand, if you are ready for it then make her feel secure and enveloped with love everyday especially when she feels down in herself. Ask her on a date, be the thing she looks forward to on a Sunday morning rather than a Saturday night.

Finally, when all is said and done, please taste your words about her before you spit them out. Does she really deserve to be bad mouthed? Were you there to pick up the pieces while she cried herself to sleep? Is she a bad person or just very fragile and you don't know how else to deal with the damage that's been done?

At the end of the day, if you don't treat her right she really won't be afraid to live her life without you in it. Oh, and to the huge number of men in the world who are not like this, I know so many amazing ladies you should be excited to cross paths with in the future. Hopefully, myself included.

For any further questions about what behaviour is and isn't allowed, please contact my father.

Yours sincerely, every heartbroken girl dreaming of The One xx