Rant Of The Week: Don’t Be Hosting The Ghosting

It’s quarter past 6 on a Tuesday evening and you’re patiently waiting for the Snapchat ‘opened’ symbol to turn into a message you have yet to open. You wait and wait, make a cup of tea, wash your dog, paint your toenails, think about what the reply is going to be, get married, have three kids, buy a house, get your pension, and still nothing. Maybe he’s busy? Maybe he’s lost wifi? Maybe he doesn’t know what to reply? Or maybe he’s er, ghosted me? Ghosting is a common occurrence in today’s society, you think you’re getting to know someone and get used to talking to them, hope it’s going somewhere and then BOOM, before you know it, he’s gone, disappeared off the face of the earth while you’re left to over analyse every moment leading up to him doing a runner. Were my snaps too ugly too soon? Was I too clingy? Did I become an eager beaver? Is he thick?


You try not to panic too much because it’s still early but then one opened symbol and forty angry texts in your squad’s group chat later makes you ask yourself – when did ghosting become okay? When did people decide it was completely acceptable to just cut people off without any reason or explanation? We wouldn’t do this in person, right? You wouldn’t just climb out of the closest window in the middle of a lunch date (I hope!) As much as we hate to admit it, I think we have all been a victim of ghosting at some point in our dating history. You soon start to realise your Ross and Rachel idea of the romance was completely false and unrealistic and in reality you now know that he saw you as more of a Janice than a Rachel. So what does send many of today’s males out the door? Are they running from commitment? Do they think by ghosting you they’re escaping their own ghosts? Do they just fancy a new life outside of your social media accounts? Again, are they just thick? Even if you do see him, chances are he will blank you or just nod awkwardly, acting oblivious and trying to pretend the last four Thirsty Thursdays never happened.

Funnily enough, if we try to make contact to find our feet and figure out where we stand in the on/off/are we/aren’t we relationship we are seen as clingy and crazy while the world’s greatest escape artist running for the hills and completely leaving us in the dark is seen as the norm. Wasn’t it going well? Didn’t we have similar interests? Didn’t our kiss send sparks flying? Didn’t he appreciate how cute I looked with the dog filter? I put makeup on at 11.30pm for him! You start to come up with all these extreme scenarios in your head about his whereabouts – Is he back with his ex he was with four years ago? Has he gone into witness protection? Was he texting me as some sort of a sick joke all along? Am I going to be on Catfish?? You then rule out all of these when you watch him go through 3 girls in one night and then read ‘Sorry, I’m just in a bad place at the moment’ in his cowardly text back 47 weeks after you politely (demanded with gun emojis) asked for an explanation. You aren’t really sorry though, are you mate? Where is this bad place many of today’s eligible bachelors are living in? Hell? Their ex-girlfriends mind? Mr Big’s shoes? I’d say that area is now sprawling into the suburbs by the minute at the rate us lovely ladies are being left in the dark re-reading all our sent texts.

After watching many different and also many similar experiences in the lives of myself and my friends, I have realised that as painful as it is, the truth is if he ghosts you he’s not the one. Do you really want a man who couldn’t care less if you go days or weeks without talking? Do you want a partner who is that cowardly? 20 years down the line he’ll tell you he’s picking up a takeaway and then you’ll spot him in the background of a random documentary that was filmed in Peru. You coming back hun? Can you please let me know so I have an idea of how many potatoes I need to cook for dinner? Ladies, if he ain’t gonna chase you, he wont wait long to replace you! May the ghoster become the ghostee!

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