Love – the small word that is meant to encompass everything great and wonderful in the world, yet somehow, it can sound frightening. I don’t think love itself is scary, I think the fear comes when you’ve experienced losing it, because after that, love doesn’t always come presented as something beautiful, it looks a lot like the first morning you wake up after you’ve lost it.
I have several men banished to this morning-after-heartache state of being. Of course, we all do. Once you’ve woken up to a teary pillow, a quiet phone, and a million questions, it is very hard to remember these men in any other way. They are frozen there by the heartache, turned to stone. A collection of emotional statues you need to bring to storage.
You will always remember the loves that brought you a heartbroken 8am, because they will haunt every 3am for you for a long time afterwards. Love isn’t scary, it’s everything. The problems come when it exits, straight out the front door, through all the windows, torn from your body, only to linger in screenshots and on your socials. You’re buttering your toast feeling half-broken, and time ticks by with the drive of a tortoise.
The thing is, we have to embrace love for it’s greatness, rather than the possibility of the heartbreak mornings. Until you’ve shipped half of your heart off to storage, you’ll never know the magic that can come with a love that stays. 8am with him is everything, but you need to come face to face with 8am by yourself first. Statue by statue, what if’s and maybes.