We can’t see ghosts, but the world is full of them. Every woman we see – walking down the street, going into work, sitting in a coffee shop, driving a car – is haunted to some extent. On her shoulder are the whisperings of men that have lusted and left, whispers that trigger doubt and insecurities. You’ll see it with your girlfriends, the love lessons you discuss over cappuccino that you’ve gathered over the years usually carry some sort of baggage for each of you.
When new doors open, it’s hard not to unpack this baggage in this new location. It starts as a suitcase, shrinks down to a purse over time, but can still be present long after the men have gone. The love has disappeared, but the wounds linger. Ghosts – do they ever really leave us? Especially if they have caused big hurt? Is it possible to put old hurt so far behind you so that it doesn’t ever pop up in your present?
In love, the past time travels. In some ways it can present itself in your present, manifest into a number of doubts and concerns. At what point do we have to acknowledge that the foundations of these manifestations were placed by the wrong people, not to be burdened onto the right ones? It’s impossible to outrun the past when it has shaped us in so many ways. The lost loves are the greatest lessons. When we welcome new opportunities and new men as fresh starts rather than looking for the hidden ghosts within them, their lives won’t seem half as haunting and we can stop looking over our shoulder.