Timing. There are times when I know that it is everything, and other times when I wonder if it truly means anything. Time changes things, it evolves emotions, and I often wonder how it has transformed those I once knew best. If we could bring our past into our future, would the feelings come with it? Would we feel stuck in what we once were, or would the slate be wiped clean?
Curiosity calls us, in Facebook memories and familiar haunts, moments that gripped our heart from years ago or the more recent times. Our purple BlackBerry knows our first hurts, and the Tiger King era can remind us of a healing process, when we both lacked the right words yet hadn’t said enough to try and save us. So bringing it all forward, where would it leave us? Timing brought us to different experiences at different times, sent the familiar away while we explored the new. Time amazed and challenged us with all of it, and now, I sit here, under a fairy light glow in my own world, completely alien to the worlds I used to know. Even though, funnily enough, they feel untouched in many ways, as if time attached new paths but left the parts we knew just as they were.
Timing does that, crafts everything new, throws you into that daunting uncertainty, until something does become certain – You’ll meet your past in your future somehow, for a moment or longer, whether you stumble across your old BlackBerry in a junk drawer or find yourself scrolling past a picture of Joe Exotic.
The thing is, I don’t know where a present past would leave us, and I know that some of the haunts are more haunting than others, but I think some of them are worth holding onto, just a little bit.
