“It’s always the big hurts, the maybes that didn’t make it…”

I Think He's Gone Weird

Ex-anxiety, or almost-ex anxiety, anyone relate? Like when you cared about someone so much you have to totally detox your life and social media of them for the sake of your own sanity? From my own experiences with this, I think it occurs when they really meant something to you or changed your life in some way. It’s always the big hurts, the maybes that didn’t make it.

This hits differently for different guys, some work in shops or restaurants we can no longer visit because the whole vibe of our day will be thrown off, and some guys have an entire friend’s group that were all muted on social media because the sight of this man will have our stomachs doing flips. Yep that’s right, we really can love a man with our entire heart and have no idea if he’s even living in the country anymore. God, I hope he’s not married.

We’ve all been there, at some point we have all said “Oh god, what if I see him?” I recently told my Mum we couldn’t get a coffee in a certain place because the possibility of seeing my ex would “Mess with the feng shui of my day” You know gals, whatever that means!

The pain can feel so raw, and seeing him brings it all back when you thought you were starting to heal. Be mindful of your friends lives, just because she no longer talks about him, doesn’t mean she’s ready for him to scan through her new pyjamas and knickers, or that she wants to talk about Tinder and eat a bagel beside him while he’s halfway through his Saturday shift.

As time works its magic, time heals most anxieties, but if you still have that heart-attack moment when he pops up on your timeline, don’t be so hard on yourself, there’s still some places I can’t visit yet and a good 25 mates of my exes who probably wonder why I never view their stories.

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