Something I do not miss about pubs? When you’re out with the girls and one of them says: “He’s over there, just saw him come in!” about the ex you’re not over yet. You then have to do the: “Ugh, that guy…” while you actually spend the rest of the night borderline breaking your neck trying to keep up with his every move without actually getting close enough to have to talk to him.
To be honest, it’s a horrible feeling. One half of you prayed he would be out, the other half isn’t emotionally ready to see him buy another girl a pink gin and lemonade. You want to make enough of a statement with your outfit and hair so that he eternally regrets breaking your heart after seeing you in this new skirt you got in the Boohoo sale, but you know you can’t have your hair styled too high and over-dramatic because at some stage you may just want to fade into oblivion if he’s getting it on with a fab girl who is wearing this same skirt.
We’re not mind readers, but energy speaks volumes, and sometimes we’re not alone… So, what happens when he’s not over you either? Does he make this clear by making his way over, or will his silence make its own statement? When we’re in the midst of it all, our mind tells us he isn’t bothered, but realistically, aren’t we also great at acting not bothered?
When you’re both standing at different ends of a long bar, there’s groups of people in between you, so much noise, but also, the elephant in the room. There’s unsaid conversation between this gin glass and pint glass, but we’ll both head back to our friend groups, checking our phones when we get there, you know, just incase some of the words drank their way to courage.
And when we go home, back to our everyday lives where the music has silenced and the gin is no more, there’s still an emotional bar between us, and we’ll both head back to our bedrooms, checking our phones when we get there, you know, just incase one of us over-thought our way to courage.
