I Think He's Gone Weird
General I Think He's Gone Weird

“Still not on it and we have shifted twice now altogether, TWICE. Rude af…”

There are a number of embarrassing dating moves I have taken in my lifetime. About 64,873 to be exact. Now, I could keep you here all day with these, but imma ease you in gently. Well, kinda.

One of these being the time I was level 100 pink gin drunk and though it would be a marvellous idea to tell a lad I had been texting that my friend, her boyfriend and I had come up with a grand plan to text him, to which he replied: “Yeah, I had a feeling!” When I say a grand plan, we may aswell have made charts and power points, honestly, we thought we were deadly and VERY subtle. Grand plan deets coming to this page at a later date, no doubt. Anyway, nope, he bloody knew, then proceeded to tell me this as I was dying of shame in his passenger seat. Yep, cool beans.

This is somewhere on the same bar as sending my crush a drunken “general group snap” because I wanted him to reply so that I could persuade him to come out. Therefore, I decided to actually caption it “General snap.” Lovely yeah, definitely looks like I sent that to loads of my contacts and wasn’t mad for the shift. Now don’t get me wrong, it worked, but my god was that one of those cringey lows.

Somewhere between all of these were the 64,871 other times. E.g. Asking a guy I shifted ONCE why I wasn’t on his private story. Still not on it and we have shifted twice now altogether, TWICE. Rude af. And let’s not forget sending an SOS text from a pub loo I was stuck in to a guy who had just come back into my life after we had ended in disaster the year before. It was quite the comeback, honestly I am shocked we didn’t work out the second time. I mean, if you look at it from a princess locked in a tower angle, it could even be quite romantic? I think that was my final messenger to him, no doubt he will show it to his kids someday and say: “Ah, here’s a message from the one that got away when she was stuck in a manky pub toilet…” I didn’t get away mate, I’m still locked in that bloody cubicle. Nah, he did send help, I’ll give him that.

I hope this post gave you two things – 1) A further insight into my unfortunate life, and 2) A good giggle. Honestly girls, we all have moments we reflect on and cringe about. No doubt I’ll make more tomorrow. Anyway… I’m totally baffled that they go weird? Can’t quite put my finger on what sends them running??

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