I think I’ve gone weird. Okay, well no, I haven’t. In fact I think I may have had a girl power epiphany of some sort. I woke up some days ago, about to check my phone before it hit me: There were not going to be any texts from a man on any social media platform. Hmm, things felt suspicious, after the initial “Lol ori” feeling had passed, I was surprisingly content with this.
Now don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to have that butterflies feeling, but it was also very nice not to feel tied to any potential something. Had I found inner peace? Was I immune to the modern dating hold? Instead of a “woe is me” lonely feeling, I felt empowered. I was happy to be on my own.
Our lives are so busy and plastered everywhere, it’s easy to feel pressured to always have a man on the go. The thing is, the feelings of any man on this planet can’t tell you that you are worthy. I’m not going to lie, I’ve felt that way before, “Oh if I can just get him I will have it all!” False. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s all about the inner work. It doesn’t matter if you’re floating past his bed in a sexy knicker set or scraping cookie dough from the sides of the tub with sudocrem on your spots, you’re the same gal each time.
For some reason, when one situation ends we tend to jump straight onto another to fill a void. And here I was in bed, just me, that void, and no one as a barrier. I had to just look into the void and be like “Yep, you were caused by a man I really cared about but he couldn’t see my worth, so what next?” There was no more constant checking for when he was last active, timing my texts, analysing the yellow heart… I had to just accept that he was gone and I was fully single, but it didn’t mean he had taken my magic with him. Missing him didn’t make me weak or crazy, it meant I could feel.
Relationships shouldn’t be an accessory to make you look better, they aren’t a Penneys Gucci dupe belt when your heart is broken. Honestly, it doesn’t matter if you have the yellow heart with Zac Efron, that doesn’t make you any more loveable than if you can’t remember the last time you got the shift, hun. Your worth isn’t measured by men or your dating progress. It’s okay to just be texting the girls, don’t let society pressure you. And if you’re ever doubting your worth, please stop doing that because I see everything you don’t – you’re an absolute angel who deserves the world and I’m sorry he hurt you. Please don’t settle for comfort you absolute QUEEN.