“Would it be frozen? Fresh? On offer? The possibilities were endless!”

I Think He's Gone Weird

It was another day at the office, I was typing away and ready to read messages from my man who should have been pining over my return. There I was texting my beau as normal as I was working away, probably typing up an article about one of the Kardashians, when suddenly, my man quickly became as shady as Tristan Thompson.

I picked up my glowing phone, ready to read what veg he had picked himself up for dinner – Would it be frozen? Fresh? On offer? The possibilities were endless! But, nope, none of the above, instead I was hit with a: “Haha thanks babe :)” Thanks. Babe. Excuuuuuuse me? Oh folks, let me now inform you that “Babe” was not me. This response made NO sense in relation to our conversation, I genuinely was awaiting a dull answer about Aldi’s veg offers or something. We were almost a year into our relationship, and clearly someone else was getting all the spice.

Had my boyfriend really sent me a text meant for another girl? Was this really happening whilst I was working away from home? Was I able to stop myself from vomiting all over the fella who sat across from me? I put the phone down gently without replying, while my eyes popped out of my head in shock and the words on the screen became blurred. Why me, WHY ME?

I didn’t reply to him first, I text my friend about the situation. Whilst awaiting her reply, I got a “Oh my god sorry, was meant to send that to my friend, we have a private joke where I call her babe!” from him. As you can tell, this man was quite the comedian! Out of all the Dad jokes I had heard and best Ben Stiller movies I had seen, “BABE 🙂 ” definitely had me in the knots the most. A timeless classic.

Long story short, he insisted it was a private joke, this girl I didn’t know claimed I had no reason to be worried, there were a million other shady stories to pile on top of this one, god knows if he opted for broccoli or cauliflower, and our relationship was over a month or two later. Ah, you would miss the laughs he brought though…

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