I Think He's Gone Weird
General I Think He's Gone Weird

“My phone might be vibrating when I’m walking down the aisle, or maybe my kids will be saying: ‘Mum, that guy is texting you again!'”

“Oh, I’m texting him!” We’ve all said it, but what does it really mean? How long before texting should reach the next level, and if it doesn’t, what is going on? What are we? What aren’t we? What happens if I pass him in the street?

I’m always the gal who wonders: “WHY are we texting if this isn’t moving?” I would like that answer, but I don’t know if anyone really has it. Many a man have I been “texting” before he took “Hey, you wanna go for a coffee?” as “Hey, mind if I boil your bunny?” Now, these are not men I have been texting since yesterday, these are men who have been contacting me consistently for weeks/months on end.

Being completely blunt here, why can men send d*ck pics so casually, yet we’re the weird ones when we want to go to the cinema? Is popcorn and a large Fanta really that frightening? Do I really need to see your bits and pieces before we see a good Oscar winner together?

When there is no end to the texting, I’m not sure where it does end. My phone might be vibrating when I’m walking down the aisle, or maybe my kids will be saying: “Mum, that guy is texting you again!” Ah, yes, the one that didn’t get away, he simply stayed away.

I once hinted dates to a guy I was texting all the time and shifting on a Saturday night. Now when I say hinting, they weren’t hints. They were clear as day, I think I had even asked him straight out a few times, but he was just choosing to ignore them and brushing them off. The worst being when he said “I’ve been to the cinema enough for the year now!” after going with his best mate. You know, might have been fair enough… but I was involved with this guy in February. FEBRUARY. The Saturday nights turned dramatic, the texts turned bitter, and things ended with him thinking I was a complete and utter nutter, and me knowing I had dodged a bullet. RIP Fanta Fantasy.

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