Hey everyone!
As many of you follow me for my poetry, I wanted to share a bit of an insight into it. I love the way poetry is being modernised, it is such a big movement on social media, and let’s face it, social media is the place many people spend a lot of time in 2019. Funnily enough, I haven’t always written poetry. I have always loved writing, but poetry was never one that stood out for me.
Before I embarked on my current poetry journey, there are three times I distinctly remember writing poems. The first was for my Grandfather’s funeral. The second was for my Grandmother’s funeral. And while expressing my emotions through words in memory of Gramp and Nanny Josie was a beautiful thing… the third one haunts me. On the wall of my mum’s hairdressing salon there is a picture of my 10-year-old head in a flower (drawn by me, of course) with a poem about my mum to accompany it. Being the middle child, I am slotted directly between artworks by my sister and brother. Of course theirs are totally acceptable, at about age six it’s pretty normal to write about your love for your mother because she makes great spaghetti, but my pre-teen “I like my mum, she is great fun” spiel isn’t likely to make it into Waterstones beside any of the poetry greats.
Anyway, over a year ago I had an itch, a yearning to share snippets of my writing, without writing a whole blog post. It was like my brain was an airport and the thoughts were constantly flying in and out. I thought about how I could go about this, and then realised I was following so many poets. I thought perhaps I could try poetry, although I have to admit, I was a bit worried. Myself and my sister used to make up songs while unable to fall asleep in our bunk beds and she always said I had a habit of making things rhyme, something she thinks makes a lot of sense now – “I love youuuu, do you love me toooo?” Yep, I’m sure you can visualise it. Fab.
Anyway, I ended up writing a few poems, the first being one about Gramp, who I mentioned earlier. On the 23 April, 2018, I posted that piece to my Facebook and Instagram pages. After this, it became an addiction. I seemed to have awakened a love that had been dormant for 22 years.
Most of my writing is done at night time. I personally believe this is the time when emotions take their truest form. I believe when you’re in bed, staring at the ceiling, you’re either overthinking an unnecessary worry, or your mind focuses on where your heart is at the moment. That’s why the majority of my poems never make it to Instagram! Haha. No but really, I do most of my writing in a gold notebook from Penneys, and plenty of the pages are scribbled thoughts I’m not ready to share just yet. I do draw a lot of inspiration from my own life, of course I do, isn’t that the beauty of art? However, sometimes it can be old thoughts that resurface, or thoughts that come to me while watching the life and experiences of another person, real or fictional. Inspiration draws me at the most random times – the most strange experiences to date have been dreaming a poem idea, and writing a poem while watching Biffy Clyro play at Indie!
As a 23-year-old woman, I am still finding my feet as I wander through life. I’m still finding my people, finding myself. I feel I have so much to say and my poetry is one of the best ways to do that. I adore writing, but it doesn’t come without its own struggles. Sometimes my mind goes blank for days on end, like the flurry of words have just flown away and my ideas have no way to evolve. I think poetry is an ability to dig that bit deeper, I’ve always been really sensitive which can mean I don’t find it easy to shrug off feelings or emotions. Sure, this can be problematic at times because I’m an over-thinker, but I love it. I really enjoy looking at people’s behaviours and the everyday experiences people go through. I’m quite a vibey person, so I always have the desire to bring these feelings to life. It can feel as if people are analysing my life at times, and particularly with dating, I struggle to find someone who doesn’t dissect my writing. This can be complex because poetry is such a personal thing, people pick it up in completely different ways. Just because I might post a poem tomorrow about being sad, it doesn’t mean I’m sad at that moment. There are old poems, old experiences, old ideas that might not make sense to my creativity until months down the line. This is why it’s important for me to wait for the person who appreciates my voice and can separate the reality from the art. Until I find someone who will fly by my side, I’m enjoying flying by myself.
My poetry has become so much of a passion for me, I feel I’m meant to say these things and own my experiences. I will never give up writing or stay silent because some people out there believe we shouldn’t talk about our feelings. In this generation, it’s so common for people to hurt and feel isolated. Technology makes it much more difficult to process emotions, and I struggle with the idea, as a writer, that people can hurt you but you aren’t allowed to talk about the aftermath. The aftermath is the fire, it’s where so much of our world’s art comes from. We need to raise women who can rise in this fire.
It’s so easy to just say nothing incase you rock the boat. However, as I am growing, I am learning that sometimes we need to rock the boat, things need to be shaken up. I can be hurt and hold it inside and say nothing, or I can create something positive out of it that other people can relate to and heal with. One person disliking your working doesn’t remove the ten who love it. I believe poetry is so special because it can remove a feeling of isolation from people’s lives, similarly to music. That’s what I get out of other poet’s writing, e.g. Rupi Kaur. So when I’m writing, I always think of the reader too. I’ve always processed my emotions through writing, so I’m glad I can help other people with these words now.
I haven’t looked back once since I started writing and sharing these snippets of my thoughts. Any poetry is real poetry, you shouldn’t feel confined to a certain box, but I’m a huge fan of the modern twist and love watching my work evolve as I get older. Everything in life evolves, so it’s no surprise that poetry is too. This is our era, so I write what I know – many people can relate to sending the dreaded drunk text and being ghosted. I enjoy writing about the ordinary, everyday moments we encounter in life.
I really appreciate all of you who read and engage with my work, it means the world to me. Here’s to all the words to come! You can find me on Facebook or Instagram: thefoxfiles 🙂 Or check out some of my work here.
Much love,
Fe xx
