Rant Of The Week: I Wish Bouncers Understood Me

I usually go out every Saturday night, and for some reason it seems like everytime the bouncers wreck my head, anyone else feel like it’s just like having one of those arguments with your dad that you’re never gonna win but you keep trying anyway? Well I do. Sure you have to love them!

I always get asked the same thing every week without fail:”Do you have other shoes to wear?” “No.” “Okay but you have to wear them next time.” So anyway next time comes around and he says the exact same thing again. Shocker. But honestly, do you really think this dress would look good with flats? Erm, I don’t think so Mister. Bouncers can never appreciate the time us girls put into our outfits. If I showed up in Louboutins or Valentinos would they still ask the same thing? Can they not see that those few extra inches remove pounds from my thighs and make my legs look longer in general? I shaved for this…

Another thing I can never understand about bouncers is how they let in girls who are clearly 14 but spend forty minutes examining my real 19-year-old ID as if I don’t deserve to be there. Um hello? The guy I’m in love with is currently on the prowl in the building behind you and you’re wasting valuable time wondering whether that’s me on the age card or my sister. For the record, it’s me, it was my sister about a year and a half ago, maybe that’s why you’re confused. 
The worst part is when you’re told: “Go have food and sober up then I’ll let you in” Oh I need to sober up? You just looked at my fab contouring, Kylie Jenner lipstick and perfect eyebrows and still won’t let me in, I think we all know the one not in their right mind here. Look at me, I’m fab. 
Oh them, not the most considerate creatures in the world…

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