Rant Of The Week: Men We Love You, But Hands Off Our Handbags

A woman’s handbag is a never ending treasure chest. You may think this is an exaggeration and it is worth a lot less than treasure, but if that’s the case then you obviously have never invested in a good bag.

I always have my handbag with me no matter where I go, I wouldn’t dream of leaving the house without it, nor would I accidentally forget it (which unfortunately isn’t the case for my family who could slip my mind rather easily..soz huns). It usually weighs more than me and is physically bigger than me because it is full of my life. That’s it. My life is resting peacefully inside that material, which is why it kills me inside whenever anybody goes to have a root through it, especially men. Excuse me, get that shocked look off your face, obviously it’s going to be holding 58 tampons, a random pair of tights, one back-up bra strap and a quarter pounder and chips. Do you not know me at all? Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I don’t understand why men can’t grasp the idea of an over-sized handbag, look at my face and hair, do you think I woke up like this? Obviously not, despite popular believe I’m not actually made of sugar, spice and everything nice, I need to carry my tweezers, eyelash glue, bronzer, eyeshadow palettes, lipstick, plasters, panadol, dry shampoo, chewing gum, apple, pet llama and back combing brush somewhere for regular life touch ups. Duh.

Basically, men should never look through women’s handbags unless they are told to. It’s a whole other world in there. And if you’re going to complain about the crazy size of it (big enough to hold all of Russia, or small enough to only fit one M&M, never in between) then no, of course you cannot put anything in it. Unless it is a present for me. Diamonds if possible, but chocolate will do. Thanks bbz.

Just waiting for the day some unfortunate man falls in and is never to be seen again. Lets hope it’s when they have man flu or during the World Cup… 

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