Rant Of The Week: The Truth About The Girl’s Bathrooms On Nights Out

Every girl knows the struggle of the bathroom on a night out. They are places of friendship making, emotional breakdowns and very often impatient people knocking on the door while you are trying to pee.

Men always wonder why we go to the bathroom in pairs and I must say, this is because they do not realise the dangers we could face at the other side of that door. And we probably need to borrow our friends concealer while she is having a right bitch about bumping into her ex best friend.

I don’t know what it is about these bathrooms but we seem to think there is an enchanted barrier around the cubicle which stops our voices from going outside of it. I’ll confess my love for a well known guy in town while ten other girls are waiting behind the few inches thick door, one of them being his ex girlfriend…be graaaand.

There really is nothing worse than drunk people shouting at you to hurry up while you’re going to the toilet. Girl, you think you’ve got problems, I just saw the future father of my children getting off with another girl in front of me because he doesn’t know I exist, please let me pee and contemplate my next step in life. These steps are usually wobbly ones in the direction of McDonalds.

Bathroom selfies usually show how much you have deteriorated over the course of the night. How did my eyeliner get on my chin? Were my fake eyelashes always upside down? Nevertheless, we take them anyway thinking we’re utterly fab and then spend the next two days clicking untag on Facebook #NipSlip.

So yes, we do go the toilet as an army and often come out with an even bigger crew because we become best friends with fellow weeping women who let us borrow a hair bobble and a few clips. However, you can’t always be sure these women are present and could also meet 16-year-olds who think you’re staring at them and are ready to take you out.

It’s a big bad world behind that door, one that men will never know…

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