Rant Of The Week: Bacon Before Nudes

Oh heyyyyy, it’s me! You may have been shocked to read “Rant Of The Week” in this blog post title since I haven’t written one in, well, ages. I think my last one was in August and then after that I seemingly had nothing to rant about, until recently when life started to get my eyes rolling again. So guess what? I’m back, bitchessss! Although from now on my rants will be midweek instead of on a Sunday. I’ve really missed this, I hope you all have too… there’s no loyalty unless there were tears. LOTS OF TEARS.


For my comeback rant I knew immediately what I would talk about. Last night while I was scrolling through social media I came across a beautiful, tempting picture of bacon. For a second, I thought to myself, why is Kim K posting about bacon? Well it turns out it was actually a picture of her lipstick collaboration with her lookalike and sister, Miss Kylie Jenner. Before I carry on I would like to remind all of you that I absolutely love the Kardashians! In fact, Kim and Kylie are my favourites. However, if anything is being fried right now it is my brain and not the imaginary bacon.

My 4 fave shades of nude! It’s pretty much all I wear & there’s so many variations so this collab is truly a collection of faves! #KKWXKYLIE pic.twitter.com/P8R1ncmAwU

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) April 25, 2017

Now I love a classic nude lip as much as the next gal, but for women who have built an extraordinary empire, is there no other products they can release?? Us ladies spend half of our days turning down “Nudes?” snaps and now the other half is being filled by Kim and Kylie shoving nudes in our faces. ENOUGH WITH THE NUDES. I also love makeup, but they all look pretty much the same to me. Kim said it was a collection of her faves, but I think they have fooled us into buying one shade with different names, and even if the shades are different, they clearly aren’t that different. If anything, I would just get flustered trying to settle on one.

Put the Kardashian name to something and it sells out in no time. KKWxKYLIE, Kiki, Kimmie, Candy K, Koko K, all the K’s. It is just all getting a bit confusing to me. I would love a Kylie lip kit but I want one in the quirky colours and right now I can’t go looking for that because the nude confusion on the website hurts my eyes… there is just so many already.

It does make me wonder what would happen if I got to that level of fame and decided to release a cosmetic/bacon line. What would I call it? FFxPEPPA? Fefe F?? FOXxPIG?? Suggestions welcome…

Everyone saying this is Kim’s signature look and Kylie is inspired by it, yet we all have naturally nude lips. I mean, in the posters for it were they wearing the lip kit? And were they wearing the same shade? I’m so confused! Also, if I pose with my sister like they are, will we look like this or have we really focused too much on bacon to truly achieve that chiseled appearance?

I don’t even know. I’m hungry…

P.S. This doesn’t mean I would prefer actual nudes, if you plan on being generous and sending me any, let’s stick to the cosmetic side of things, eh?

Ah, it feels good to be back! Chat soon!

Fe xx

The Refreshing Escape

Hey everyone! How are things with you guys? Anything exciting been happening? I hadn’t been up to much, I went to support a few events in my own local area and then yesterday I went on a trip to Dublin for the day with my Mum. The trip was badly needed!

Do you ever get into those moods where you just don’t feel like yourself? I’ve been feeling like this for the past few weeks which is strange because I’m such a social butterfly and am usually running out the door every weekend. Recently though, I’ve really been keeping to myself and haven’t wanted to be doing much. I was feeling a bit down in the dumps like I needed a break from people, if that makes any sense at all! I don’t really know what is causing this feeling, but recently I have been content with staying at home in my own company. I think it is because I went through a month or so where one thing after the other seemed to be going wrong and I eventually decided if I stay by myself I won’t be getting upset anymore (which sounds a bit silly when I actually put the feeling into words). Usually I love being social and out and about but I seem to have fallen flat and have no energy to do this. I think sometimes it’s good to take a break from the people around you if you’re feeling some of the energy is quite negative, but you can’t block it all out either because it isn’t healthy to isolate yourself. While this was going on though I was also feeling extremely trapped at home, so you can’t win either way! Haha So anyway, off I went with my mum to Dublin for the day!

We had eight hours to kill in Dublin City, which is easily done with cups of tea and Penneys! I think we all know I’m easily pleased with a bit of retail therapy. We had a very early start so the first stop when we arrived had to be for tea, so we went to a beautiful little Parisien Cafe. Anybody who knows me knows that Paris is the place I want to visit the most in the world – Probably because of it’s fashion and the fact that it is known as The City of Love! I enjoyed a cup of tea, lemon tart, and told my mum how I had been feeling lately with the lovely sound of French music echoing through the air which gave me an instant lift.

After this, we spent the whole day shopping (mainly Penneys) and I really did go a bit OTT! I literally shopped until I dropped, no joke, after about three hours in Penneys I thought I was having a hot flush in the accessories section so we had to get out for a lunch break before I melted into nothing in my favourite place. What a way to go, eh? On top of all this my bladder was about to burst because of tea and it was all becoming too much! Haha Needless to say, we legged it out of there. Well, I guess my mum walked normally but I kinda awkwardly waddled down the street to the loo! DON’T DRINK TEA BEFORE ENTERING PENNEYS IN DUBLIN BECAUSE YOU WILL NOT BE IN AND OUT QUICKLY.

To be fair, I was bursting, overheating and my arm was hanging off me from the weight of the basket because I bought so many lovely bits. I will be sharing these on my Instagram over the next few days (@thefoxfiles) I absolutely adore the embroidered floral heels below that I was going to buy in Penneys for 25 euro, however, when I went over to the other Penneys they only had one pair left – My size AND reduced to 11 euro! Fate? I think so!

Overall it was a lovely day (mainly because we got doughnuts, mmmm) and it was so lovely to go for a bonding day with my mum in a place that wasn’t our usual. There is something so refreshing about new places and new faces when you’ve been feeling a bit low. You are never alone in the world, there’s so many people you have yet to meet (A possible blog post topic? Watch this space!)

I am meeting my best friend for lunch tomorrow and also seeing my other best friend this week who I haven’t seen in ages because she hasn’t been in Ireland. I can’t wait for a catch up with both of them, it looks like this social butterfly’s wings will be back in action sooner rather than later!

The moral of this post? Life is too short to be spent inside alone when there’s delicious, sugary doughnuts out there waiting for you…

Have a lovely week everyone and bless those of you that are silly enough to be dieting over Easter xx

The Mystery Of Men

Men think differently to us women, this is no secret. Don’t get me wrong, I love men. Men are lovely, men are cuddly, and men are constantly stuck in my brain. However, men are not me and because of this I cannot work them out, not even for a second. In fact, I’ve given up trying (for tonight anyway!) I’ve even convinced my mum of the strange ways of the males of our generation, for so long she tried to keep my hope for true love and romance there but overtime I think the same experiences repeating themselves only made her think “My god, my daughter is absolutely tragic.” She used to tell me I was overthinking everything but now whenever I don’t get a text back for more than eight hours she is the one wallowing on the floor in self pity while I’m sitting there like “Meh, what’s new, another cuppa please dad!”

I am not sure how their brains work, all I know is, not very well or so well that I am wayyyyy behind. They do things that leave us trying to work out the logic for a period of 47 years and then when we question it they don’t want to discuss it. Oh I’m sorry, can you not discuss your master plans for world domination after 8pm? Was he even aware I was confused or was he watching the football whilst eating a crunchie without a care in the world? Enlighten me please and pass me a crunchie.

Do you ever notice when you confront them about something they shouldn’t have done they lose the plot, call you psycho and avoid the topic completely? Just me? You try to tell him something stupid he did that upset you and suddenly you’re going to boil his bunny, he’s listing all your insecurities, he wants you to move to the Australian Outback alone forever so your presence is no longer wrecking his head and there’s dramatic full stops flying all over the shop. Verdict, ladies? WE FIND THE DEFENDANT… GUILTY.

Why do they also decide to drop off the face of the earth every so often and then come strolling back into your life happily as if they’ve just woken up from a nap that lasted seven months? Where have you been? Who have you been with? Why did you come back? What’s your name again? Why does the elastic band theory mean I’m the only one who is getting injured from the force of it? WHY AM I STILL STUPID ENOUGH TO TEXT YOU BACK WITHIN THREE SECONDS???

Also, they seem to think liking your selfie after ruining your life and breaking your heart automatically puts them on top of your list again? Back away, Satan. After many 80’s love songs and tear soaked pillows, we all decided you were better off left in hell. ‘All’ referring to my mum, nan, sister, two best friends and I guess me after a lot of convincing and attempts to tear the phone out of my hand so I don’t send you any cringey messages. Hey, at least I’m honest.

We just think differently, it really is true. Whenever my friends are like ‘Why did he do this??’ I always try to offer wisdom and make up a load of crap to comfort them, when in reality my head is thinking ‘WHY DID HE DO THIS?’ Does anyone know? Do his friends know? Does Beyonce know? Does he even know? Like not being funny, us girls overthink everything, we need answers, we make up solutions for everything and pull them out of thin air and magical kingdoms far far away. I bet Liam Payne’s ex-girlfriends bestfriends were like ‘Gal bet he only did that to make you jealous’ after Cheryl gave birth to their baby recently. You heard it here first…

Are all men mentally up on Mars having a laugh at how worked up we get over things? Do they have a notebook full of organised, colour coded plans or do they just act on impulse? Will we ever know what goes on in their heads or was the world supposed to be this way… forever?


Side note: Potential boyfriends still welcome, don’t be shy xx