“Three snaps in and he’s gone…”

I Think He's Gone Weird

I was certain, so certain that there were many women out there planning weddings to the love of their life, deeply pondering flower choices, while I asked myself, once again, why men bother messaging me on Tinder only to not reply after four messages. Does the spark die when I tell them how I’m doing? Is there some dramatic response to “Up to much?” during lockdown that I’m supposed to know about?

My wedding song is far off as ‘Good As Hell’ tops my most played Spotify song for 2020. And the big move to Snapchat doesn’t help the wedding progress either, three snaps in and he’s gone, left to watch stories of my sleeping dog until we both grow old and die.

There’s something so mythical about romantic movie gestures, while we all love to watch him turn up and tell her that he can’t live without her, the real-life guys never seem to get the memo. In fact, the height of romance these days is when he tags you in a meme… IN PUBLIC. Like, hello gals, do you realise that everyone will see this? He could have just sent it in private but didn’t?? He has a lot of Facebook friends you know??? The memes sweep us off our feet and all common sense seems to go out the window. Public meme = Wedding flower planning.

And funnily enough, while I type this, dreaming of sparks and fireworks, a little Tinder notification popped up with a new message. And while I would open it now to tell you what it says with the hopes of saving romance, I’m going to wait to tell you if he disappears after the fourth message. Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend…

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