Frankie knew she could spend forever in bed, complaining about the fact that she was out of luck and out of love. The day had come , she knew it was time to get back out there and stop moping over a man who only liked the idea of her when she was convenient – Like a three month old magazine in a waiting room or dark chocolate when someone else had eaten all the milk chocolate. After the McDonalds scenario, she knew she was going to be seeing him around the place often, so there was no point over-analysing the tone of his voice when he says ‘hello’ or why he is suddenly shopping in Tesco over Aldi.
She began downloading Tinder again, munching on Cheese Puffs as it started to load. Three days and many cringy opening lines later, she had two men who stood out among the rest. Well, they stood out as being the only two who didn’t have cars as their profile pictures and weren’t part of infamous local groups of lads who seemed to stop mentally maturing at 17. Their two vibes were totally different – One was her usual type, a bit of a bad boy image and potentially going to hurt her but his wit meant she was willing to take the risk, and the other, a type she had never been for but she decided to give a go since her usual type hadn’t proved extremely successful so far.
Her vibes proved to be correct, man number one started cancelling every date they organised with some weird excuses that didn’t add up. That was it, man number two was the current favourite. They planned to go for a drink on Saturday night to her usual spot – not too noisy and does a great Sex on the Beach. Of course, ghosts known to rise from the dead, she was hit with a “You out Saturday?” text from man number one. Oh bugger. “Might be, not sure yet!” she replied mid-outfit chaos as she tried to decide between Spanx or her new pair of red knickers for the weekend. Frankie’s angel on her shoulder began shouting “WHAT ARE YOU DOING, AVOID THE RED FLAGS LIKE THE PLAGUE!” while the devil who was adding “You never know, this could finally be the one you could change!” seemed to be speaking a lot louder.
Half an hour later, she was collapsed on her bed after agreeing to meet them both on the same night. A night she was committed to anyway because it was one of the girl’s birthdays. She made her way to the kitchen to tell her mum of her current woes, hoping for plenty of sympathy. She knew there was the saying to kill two birds with one stone, but at this rate she was the only one who would end up getting stones fired at her. The sympathy from her mum seemed to be sieved out with the dinner she was making. “Terrible idea, trust me you can’t go out, nothing good will come of them both being there, the place isn’t big enough!” Frankie knew there was more to this story but she wasn’t being told, her mum had been in this predicament before and she wanted the deets. “Look, all I will say is that this happened to me before, many years ago and I ended up having to hide under the table in the restauarant.” As terrible and embarrassing as this story sounded, Frankie went upstairs and called Jess for some valuable bestie advice: “Oh it will be fine, live a little, just meet them in different bars!” Frankie then made an important decision – she decided to settle on the red knickers, after all, man number one had a beard.