Christmas 2016 – A Lot Of Single And A Lot Of Pringles!

For 11 months of the year, being single is kind of alright. I mean thankfully during the summer there’s no idiot trying to chuck you into the water when you go to the beach. Seriously mate, watch my hair. You don’t have to think of a creative couples Halloween costume OR share your Easter eggs with anyone while watching a movie. And while these 11 months are all well and good, I usually spend them looking forward to the 12th month of the year until it comes around and hits me as hard as Santa coming down the chimney. After many failed attempts at finding the man of my dreams I have come to terms with the fact that turning 21 in January as a single gal will be just fine as long as I don’t have all my fuckboys standing too close together in one room if I have a party… let’s keep that tequila flowing, people! I’m joking, obviously. I hope. Let me recheck my invite list…

Maybe Christmas in a relationship is overrated. I spend every year acting like Mariah Carey but I’m sure if I was actually in a relationship over Christmas it would turn into a Fairytale (or, er, not so fairytale) Of New York situation very quickly. I mean the good thing about facing Christmas as you and only you is that you can wear mistletoe as freely as you wish and your kiss on New Years could be the man you’ve lusted over for the past 6 months or some random fella you will live to regret in the morning. You also have the thrill of the 12 pubs of Christmas… will I need to avoid my ex-boyfriend in pub six? Will I get the shift in pub 8? Is my Prince Charming waiting for me in pub two? Will I even make it to pub two?! The negatives of course are shopping as a third wheel, keeping yourself warm, drinking romantic Christmas coffees alone and dodging the phone ringing Christmas Day incase any family member starts asking if you’re still single. Yes Mary, nothing to report other than my excessive alcohol consumption and weight gain.
Thinking about it, why do I want to be in a relationship over Christmas? Is it only so that I can put it on Instagram? Do you all want to see my cute presents and picture of us Christmas shopping? Food baby or real baby, hmmm? Should I tell you how long it actually took us to get that cute picture after spending the past hour with me dragging him around Penneys and choosing a nice filter for my Starbucks picture? In reality, maybe drinking mulled wine in my pyjamas with my mum won’t be so bad and maybe I should stop waiting for the perfect man to land under the Christmas tree or mistletoe because all the ‘ideal’ ones we are seeing could be coated in a Christmas wrapping and the illusion is a lot better than the reality. OR, maybe I’m just bloody bitter about the whole thing?! Sounds about right to be honest. Somebody pass me the mince pies!
Oh and Santa, just to keep in mind for next year… Funny, handsome, billionaire, doesn’t like other girls selfies. You know, the man I ask for Every. Single. Year. EVERY YEAR. Please take note this time, mate and safe travels!

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