Rant Of The Week: The Glitz And Glamour Of Christmas Nights Out

Are Christmas nights out really as glamorous as we think? Or do we all just drag the sequins, high heels and faux-fur out of our wardrobes to distract from the ever growing Quality Street belly, pickled onion breath and turkey sandwich thighs? Looking around on St. Stephens night I noticed the pub was full of beautiful, dolled-up girls. I myself was even in a gold sequin dress with a bold pink lippie. However, in the eyes of the people around us we may appear to be perfect sparkling masterpieces, but in reality, this is all false.

For me, my biggest concern on the night was my hair. What started out as a big, bouncy mass of flirty curls turned into a big, ratty, tangled, mass of frizz. I stared around me and thought about the various girls: ‘Aww her hair looks so pretty! Her hair looks so flawless! Her hair ALWAYS looks that good!’ I then complained about my own hair to my best friend who told me ‘You can’t even notice!’ So, how many things do we really not notice?

When you feel insecure, other people still think you look nice because they’re all caught up in their own insecurities.
For example, when other people looked at me I’m sure all they saw was…

  • A gold dress.
  • Black heels.
  • A black clutch.
  • Pink lipstick.
  • Big hair. 

    Simple. However, in reality, my idea of the outfit was completely different…

  • I had spent the past week trying on all the dresses in my wardrobe with Spanx trying to decide which one sucked in my Christmas jelly belly the most.
  • When the night finally arrived I kind of wanted to stay in and read my Kim K book in my fluffy pyjamas while eating dried banana.
  • I had a melt down before I left the house because my fringe looked like someone had ironed it onto my scalp. Can’t cope.
  • My spots could not be properly covered and it looked like World War 3 had broken out on my chin.
  • My lipstick kept smudging everywhere and all over my teeth (even on my nose at one point, don’t even ask.) 
  • Trying to squeeze into the dress proved to be a bit of a struggle because I had eaten about fifty tins of chocolates within the space of 24 hours.
  • I couldn’t decide which jewellery or jacket to wear.
  • I realised parts of my legs were still hairy.
  • My tan was fairly dodgy.
  • I had tissue stuffed in my new shoes to make them fit better but still couldn’t walk in them properly anyway and was in complete and utter pain for the whole night.
  • I was completely over paranoid about my knicker line.
  • Nip-slip was a very likely scenario.
  • I really wanted a new Facebook profiler.
  • Don’t even get me started on the battle I had with my eyeliner.
Now, are Christmas nights out really built from natural perfection? Absolutely bloody not – they are built from Spanx, tears and backcombing fails. Perfection isn’t real, but determination is. Trust me, there’s a reason fancy nights out only happen once a year, the preparation time and emotional stress is not an easy task. So, to all my fellow girls who still wear a smile, brave the heels and go out and strut their stuff with confidence despite everything that happened in the previous few (or you know, like 36) hours, I salute you!

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