How To Know If You're Friend-Zoned On Snapchat

Snapchat is by far one of the most loved and most hated social media apps. Loved because let's face it, who doesn't love turning themself into a slice of toast or face swapping with Kylie Jenner?! However, it can be deadly when you receive an unexpected snap from a potential partner as you're covered in sudocrem or after you've been drunk crying. Most girls have numerous personalities on Snapchat, but understandably, if you're a man you may struggle to tell if you're out of the Friend -Zone or in the Friend-Zone. I know I have several close male friends who have screenshots of me that could potentially ruin my life but hey, I sent them that level of ugly so the trust is there, don't let me down lads! However, snapping a boy you're interested in is a completely different kettle of fish altogether - the time gets lowered, the pretty filters make an appearance and the other boys you were snapping can get slightly ignored (Soz huns!)

Let's just say if you ever struggled to decide whether I was into you or not, you will now know! If she's sending you the first side of the pictures below, appreciate the time and planning that went into those few seconds of perfection and if you're on the second side, errrrr, it might be time to move on if you were sending her the first side...

 

When you're genuinely just an average gal who loves the dog filter more than life itself... 

Bae vs. Bestie

When you can't think of anything else to say but the conversation was beginning to die...

Bae vs. Bestie

Letting them know your current romantic situation... 

Bae vs. Bestie

Reminding them how drunk you were last night to explain any embarrassing snaps you may have sent...

Bae vs. Bestie

The 'I'm so chill, comfortable in my own skin and not like other girls' no make-up selfie 

Bae vs. Bestie

When you need to suck up to him to make sure he doesn't think you're a miserable cow but you're past that stage with your mates....

Bae vs. Bestie

Embracing who you really are...

Bae vs. Bestie

When the trust level really matters...

Bae vs. Bestie

Pointing out your own flaws so they know you're up for a laugh...

Bae vs. Bestie

Hope you enjoyed this post and I'm sure many of you can relate! If you want to test this theory out for yourself feel free to follow me on Snapchat! Username: fenellafoxy :) Or if we're already friends on Snapchat you can proceed to cry or do a runner when you realise you're not on the side you want to be on, sorryyyyy...

Rant Of The Week: Don't Be Hosting The Ghosting

It's quarter past 6 on a Tuesday evening and you're patiently waiting for the Snapchat 'opened' symbol to turn into a message you have yet to open. You wait and wait, make a cup of tea, wash your dog, paint your toenails, think about what the reply is going to be, get married, have three kids, buy a house, get your pension, and still nothing. Maybe he's busy? Maybe he's lost wifi? Maybe he doesn't know what to reply? Or maybe he's er, ghosted me? Ghosting is a common occurrence in today's society, you think you're getting to know someone and get used to talking to them, hope it's going somewhere and then BOOM, before you know it, he's gone, disappeared off the face of the earth while you're left to over analyse every moment leading up to him doing a runner. Were my snaps too ugly too soon? Was I too clingy? Did I become an eager beaver? Is he thick?

 

You try not to panic too much because it's still early but then one opened symbol and forty angry texts in your squad's group chat later makes you ask yourself - when did ghosting become okay? When did people decide it was completely acceptable to just cut people off without any reason or explanation? We wouldn't do this in person, right? You wouldn't just climb out of the closest window in the middle of a lunch date (I hope!) As much as we hate to admit it, I think we have all been a victim of ghosting at some point in our dating history. You soon start to realise your Ross and Rachel idea of the romance was completely false and unrealistic and in reality you now know that he saw you as more of a Janice than a Rachel. So what does send many of today's males out the door? Are they running from commitment? Do they think by ghosting you they're escaping their own ghosts? Do they just fancy a new life outside of your social media accounts? Again, are they just thick? Even if you do see him, chances are he will blank you or just nod awkwardly, acting oblivious and trying to pretend the last four Thirsty Thursdays never happened.

Funnily enough, if we try to make contact to find our feet and figure out where we stand in the on/off/are we/aren't we relationship we are seen as clingy and crazy while the world's greatest escape artist running for the hills and completely leaving us in the dark is seen as the norm. Wasn't it going well? Didn't we have similar interests? Didn't our kiss send sparks flying? Didn't he appreciate how cute I looked with the dog filter? I put makeup on at 11.30pm for him! You start to come up with all these extreme scenarios in your head about his whereabouts - Is he back with his ex he was with four years ago? Has he gone into witness protection? Was he texting me as some sort of a sick joke all along? Am I going to be on Catfish?? You then rule out all of these when you watch him go through 3 girls in one night and then read 'Sorry, I'm just in a bad place at the moment' in his cowardly text back 47 weeks after you politely (demanded with gun emojis) asked for an explanation. You aren't really sorry though, are you mate? Where is this bad place many of today's eligible bachelors are living in? Hell? Their ex-girlfriends mind? Mr Big's shoes? I'd say that area is now sprawling into the suburbs by the minute at the rate us lovely ladies are being left in the dark re-reading all our sent texts.

After watching many different and also many similar experiences in the lives of myself and my friends, I have realised that as painful as it is, the truth is if he ghosts you he's not the one. Do you really want a man who couldn't care less if you go days or weeks without talking? Do you want a partner who is that cowardly? 20 years down the line he'll tell you he's picking up a takeaway and then you'll spot him in the background of a random documentary that was filmed in Peru. You coming back hun? Can you please let me know so I have an idea of how many potatoes I need to cook for dinner? Ladies, if he ain't gonna chase you, he wont wait long to replace you! May the ghoster become the ghostee!

Rant Of The Week: An Open Letter To The Men Who Broke Our Hearts

Dear youthful men of our generation,

I know this is not all of you, but if you happen to relate to this piece of writing then chances are you are a heartbreaker (don't act so surprised, you know she hasn't blocked you off every social media account for nothing!) This is a common practise these days, much like the Valencia filter, pre-drinking or spending more time photographing your breakfast rather than actually eating it. I'm really hoping the mind games lifestyle is a trend that will soon pass in my life the same way as foundation lips, chunky highlights or studded belts did. As a girl who has met many heartbreakers in her short 20 years, I would like to alert you to our thoughts on the topic. Firstly, it isn't something to brag about. Nobody really cares if you have trouble committing because of underlying heartbreak from the girlfriend you had when you were 12. We aren't all like her, but by leading us on you're passing your own trust issues on to us and when we meet the male equivalent of ourselves we will not want to trust him because we will worry he will be like you. This is not fair on him and will again have a knock on effect. Also, if she messed up your life as much as you make out then please stop contacting her. This will make us insecure and we will find out one way or another, whether we mean to or not, we're like the FBI. And don't blame your friends for your faults, poor Paul is probably completely oblivious to this argument as he plays on the Xbox or watches the Euros.

On another topic, if all is going well between us but it gets to the stage where you disappear for no reason whatsoever, then please ask yourself why... is this necessary? Did you plan on driving our sanity up the walls? Are you just doing it for the fun of it? If yes, then please realise that this doesn't make you a hero, in fact it makes you idiotic and we would prefer it if you would just be honest with us. What is so enjoyable about leaving her waiting, wondering and in the dark? While you're messing with her heart, 10 more decent men are dreaming of getting a chance to respect it, remember that. Chances are in many cases she only has eyes for you at this moment, so don't continue to blind her. If this disappearing act goes on for a long time then don't make a dramatic comeback when we finally move on and find happiness. Jealousy doesn't direct you to the person you want to be with so don't lure us into a false sense of security with promises of the world and future happiness. Don't waste our time, we have better things to waste tears on and our poor girlfriends have enough issues with their own version of you without my problems going on top of that.

If you don't want to be with a girl then don't be with her. Simple as that. Don't try to manipulate her feelings and take pieces of her that you know you don't really deserve. We don't find dysfunctional Prince Charmings cute, none of them were like this in the movies we watched repeatedly when we were young and we are not going to sit around and wait for you while you gallivant around the kingdom on your white horses looking for other ladies of the land. We aren't all after a Mr. Big, we don't want to convince a man to love us and chase him until he is finally ready to be a man, say how he feels and be with us. This isn't healthy, and no woman wants to wake up in the morning wondering whether the man lying beside her really wants to be there. You know you wouldn't want these actions done to your sister, daughter or best friend, so why are you doing it to someone else's sister, daughter or best friend?

If you broke her heart and are genuinely sorry, then don't do it again. One sorry is bad enough, but when she is asking her friends 'which time was that again?' then let's face it, you weren't really sorry. Everything can change in an instant and God forbid one day you may never get the chance to even try to apologise. False promises don't fix broken hearts, they just secure them until it loosens again. If you break her heart then you bump into her and she can still look you in the eye, please be aware of the amazing woman you just lost due to senseless immaturity. And if she can't look you in the eye, please be aware of the same thing. Every woman deals with a broken heart differently, and every relationship is different. You aren't a child - women aren't toys that you only want to play with when someone else has them. Every woman is a woman - somebody's daughter, best friend and happy place. If she isn't your happy place then don't pretend you can be hers.

Step out of your little bubble of heartbreakers and look at the world around you rather than through a computer screen. Appreciate her beauty, don't compare it. Some people crave the buzz of cities and some people the tranquility and peace of nature, this is the same with people. All are different, but all are spectacular, so if you aren't mature enough to realise this then please walk away. On the other hand, if you are ready for it then make her feel secure and enveloped with love everyday especially when she feels down in herself. Ask her on a date, be the thing she looks forward to on a Sunday morning rather than a Saturday night.

Finally, when all is said and done, please taste your words about her before you spit them out. Does she really deserve to be bad mouthed? Were you there to pick up the pieces while she cried herself to sleep? Is she a bad person or just very fragile and you don't know how else to deal with the damage that's been done?

At the end of the day, if you don't treat her right she really won't be afraid to live her life without you in it. Oh, and to the huge number of men in the world who are not like this, I know so many amazing ladies you should be excited to cross paths with in the future. Hopefully, myself included.

For any further questions about what behaviour is and isn't allowed, please contact my father.

Yours sincerely, every heartbroken girl dreaming of The One xx

My Top Three Hairstyles For A Night Out

Anybody who knows me knows how much I love changing up my hair on a daily basis. Since I always go for a different hairstyle every Saturday night I have decided to share a few of my favourites with you! These are very simple and mainly just require a bit of practise and a lot of backcombing! Haha Enjoy :)

1. Scrunch Dry
Okay, so for any regular followers, that was obvious! Lately I am absolutely LOVING the scrunch dry! I love that bouncy look and I think it adds a bit of oomph to any outfit. Mine usually lasts two or three days until I have to wash it again. To get this look, after applying mousse I just put the diffuser on my hairdryer and slowly scrunch my hair in my hands while blow-drying it with my head turned over. If you don't get it right the first few times, don't panic! It's only recently that I can actually do it myself, my mum is a hairdresser so she taught me the ropes! Haha I then hold it with some hairspray and plumping powder. I love scrunch drying my hair because you can play around with it, leave it down, pin it back, half tie it up and it never fails to look fab! If you straighten your hair regularly it may take a few goes before it curls nicely, but keep going with it and you'll get there eventually :)

2. Slicked Back
You know when you're looking for a really sleek, classy look? Slicked back is always the way to go! For me it was very Kardashian inspired and I was dying to try it out. There are loads of tutorials online of how to achieve it but hey, just grab a backcombing brush, a comb, some hairspray and go for it! You can always brush it out if it doesn't go to plan. For me I love it slicked back but with a bit of height too!

3. Messy Straight
I know straight is a very obvious hair choice, but I can never have it too straight! I always love volume and something fun, I get too bored of my hair otherwise. Just straighten it as normal but add some plumping powder, backcomb it, flick parts out or add some subtle curls for an edgy twist. Perfect if you want a change but don't want anything too dramatic.

Hope you enjoyed reading this! I usually choose my hairstyle and make-up depending on my outfit so it's all about learning what works best for you and what you love the most! It's your hair so don't be afraid to experiment because any disasters can be easily fixed :) This was just a quick post so for any hair questions feel free to ask away :) x

Rant Of The Week: A Few Thoughts On An Aeroplane

Does it ever really matter? When we're young we see everything as the most important thing in the world, but does it ever really matter? As I am writing this I am sitting beside a complete stranger on a plane waiting to take off for England, surrounding us are many other complete strangers who at some point in their lives all thought one thing or another was the end of the world. Relationships, friendships, school, money, work - we have all gone through hundreds of ups and downs and realistically, all the ups and downs in the lives of the people surrounding me combined would barely add up to a grain of sand in comparison to the whole universe.

I have people who have affected my life at some point who are now in all corners of the earth - people who have made me laugh, people who have made me cry, and people who have touched my heart for now and forever. So does it ever really matter? When I am on a beach in the next few days staring out at the horizon, will these people stop living their own lives? Will they be aware of what I'm doing? No, because they will be touching fresh lives on other pieces of land surrounded by an exciting new culture while I do the same. How many people have stepped on the sand before me, how many footsteps were supporting a vessel of both sadness and happiness? 

I find it funny how you can go from seeing someone as your whole world to them not being in your own world at all. As the waves keep crashing, the earth keeps turning, we meet new people and we make new routines. We are all on this earth for a reason, right? We will probably all end up on opposite ends of it at some point to explore new things and grow as people. So when things change and we believe it's the end of the world we need to remember that the earth is round, so there really is no end, it's just all about moving to a new location to gain a better and more stable view. One minute you're down, the next you're up, so let's just be grateful the world is forever turning and darkness will soon turn to light again.

I Didn't Get Turned Into A Mouse!

Can anybody remember being absolutely traumatised by the film The Witches as a child? Remember the film that is based on the book by Roald Dahl about a boy and his grandma and the children getting turned into mice? As frightening as it was, I have seen it hundreds of times because I loved it, I think it's a great film and I still watch it anytime it's on TV. Sure after you watch it you may spend your time in crowded areas trying to spot witches, but it's so worth it (and probably a handy skill to have!)

Anyway, a few years ago while on one of our annual family holidays to Cornwall myself and my sister spotted a hotel in Newquay and I said 'That looks like the hotel from The Witches!' it was only when I went home and googled it that I realised that's because it is the hotel from the film. Although it was called Hotel Excelsior in the film, the actual name of it is The Headland Hotel.

This time when I visited Cornwall I was determined to go and visit it so we decided to go there on our last day. Driving up to the hotel I was so excited! My inner child couldn't contain it! The views from the hotel are stunning, as was the hotel itself. It only got better as we got inside, it was gorgeous. I asked at reception if this was the hotel where they filmed The Witches and the woman I asked was kind enough to give me a sheet of information about it which I think was lovely of her. The staff were all so lovely which I think is an important part of going to a hotel because you feel much more comfortable. We had lunch there (highly recommend the chips) and I read all about the filming and location, all about the rooms they stayed in, Rowan Atkinson's eccentric nature and how Jack Nicholson sent flower arrangements to the hotel for Angelica Houston who was his girlfriend at the time! Wow!

Myself and my family immediately fell in love with the hotel and to be honest, some of the rooms even reminded me of the gorgeous rooms we see in Titanic. It had a very elegant, cosy look which I loved. If things weren't already going well enough we headed out to the bathroom and when my mum and I came out we realised my brother was gone... my first reaction was 'Oh my god, he's been turned into a mouse!' but luckily, he had just gone downstairs to the mens toilet! As we were strolling down the hall, a familiar face caught my eye, my mouth dropped and when I turned and looked at my mum, her reaction then confirmed that I wasn't going crazy... we had just seen Phillip Schofield! What are the chances! He had a large number of family and staff around him so I didn't ask for a picture but I do regret that now. I immediately scanned the room for Holly but I soon realised it was a family occasion! Haha

Even though it poured from the heavens all day I didn't mind, it gave a much more eerie setting and I got so caught up in the atmosphere, I was on a buzz for the rest of the day! I would love to stay in the hotel sometime (perhaps in a room they used in the film?!) so that is definitely on my bucket list now, but at least I can tick off that I saw it.

If you visit Newquay or even Cornwall in general, it is definitely worth a visit. Whether you've seen the film or not, and spot a celeb or not, the absolutely beautiful sea views at The Headland Hotel are not to be missed! Just look out for the Grand High Witch and try not to be alarmed by any possible mice!

Rant Of The Week: Healing Old Paper Cuts And Starting New Chapters

When important chapters of our life end, why do we always seek closure? Isn't closure just confirming the heartbreak we already knew about? Does closure close old wounds or tear them apart even more? At some point in every girls life, this topic becomes an issue. It doesn't matter how much you try to fill the void with wine and laughter with your girlfriends, you will always see your love life as a book and until you close the book that isn't currently making you happy anymore, you can't start a new, better one - one that makes for a much easier, light hearted, straight forward read.

Maybe you loved the book to begin with, or maybe you read it so many times it just became too predictable after a while and it finally hit you that the ending would never change no matter how much you hoped it would. Maybe the main character and hero of your story is actually busy reading another book altogether. Some people are closed books because they don't crave to be read like some of us do and I firmly believe that you can go through lots of books before you find one that really fits, one that won't make you over analyse every word on every page or keep re-reading old chapters. I think one day we are all destined to find one book that will eventually change our life, and every other book gets left on the shelf, fondly remembered, but rarely, if ever, opened.

Every person has different tastes when it comes to reading, and I think that's the same with love. And yes, the majority of times we will go through at least one full horror novel in our life. Saying that though, that doesn't mean every book before 'the one' is negative. Just because one book didn't suit me, it doesn't mean I didn't fall in love with parts of it. Or sometimes, maybe things don't fit because the book doesn't deserve the love you have to offer, or maybe it was too damaged to even try to be read. You have to be more careful when handling books that are fragile and worn, and I think that's the same with hearts. Even if the cover appears shiny and perfect, sometimes the inside pages are scribbled on and torn. What you first thought was a book that is fresh and had no history, is actually a book that is holding an entire past you didn't know about, with pages left damaged and torn by people who read, half read, or simply flicked through a few pages of the book before you. Each page and mark is telling a story, and as you read deeper and deeper the paper cuts become more frequent.

I can honestly say now, as a young woman, there will always be one book that will be left on the shelf with the others, but this one is different. It may appear to be the same, but this one is full of bookmarks, folded pages and memories that are ready to be reminisced about whenever you feel like it. This book has seen you at your worst and best, and was given parts of you that no one else ever got to experience - full hold of your heart that was once full of a careless innocence. And even though the ending wasn't as you imagined it to be when you first started the book, and even if it wasn't a classic love story to the rest of the world, the story will stay with you forever. To the book you may mean nothing, but it's okay for the book to feel like everything to you. You fell in love with every part of the book, even though to other people the story may be unimportant, and that's okay. You can't explain the effect it had on you or how it captured pieces of your heart like never before, but this feeling won't last forever, will it? No, because I think someday we will realise the ending of the novel was like this for a reason.

Maybe there isn't always a sequel, or a movie, or an understanding. Maybe some books are meant to end to leave you feeling empty inside and wondering what to do next, until you realise you need to transform your life because you don't really want an old book after all. You want someone who will build you the shelf to store all these precious memories on and write you a whole new series of books, a series so good that you will become so engrossed in the new story that you will no longer want to visit the shelf anyway. He will take the time to read and study every one of the pages of your own story and will be able to recite all the highs and lows. He will read it again and again and never get bored, and suddenly your gut will just know that 3/4 of the books chapters are meant to include him after all. However, in general, you just need to be the hero of your own story because waiting for other characters, no matter how big or small, will mean you miss out on a lot of the adventure you need to experience on your own. And I firmly believe that when you're least expecting it, there will be the biggest plot twist of all when someone walks into your life and you finally understand why the other books had to end.

Finding closure is important, and yes it's hard, but it's possible. It's just about being strong enough to close the book and end the familiar comfort and security of it when the story no longer thrills you or awakens your soul to wonderful, magical things. Even if it wasn't a whole book, maybe it was just a small chapter that can be left where it is and will have no future impact on the rest of your story. Sometimes heroes become villains, but sometimes we can also love the villains because we first fell in love with the hero they were on the first page. Once we learn to let go of the villains and come to terms with the fact that the first page wasn't a true representation of the rest of the story, we can start to admire the pages inside rather than the deceiving cover and introduction.