So a few days ago I was sitting on the beach surrounded by my embarrassing parents and swarms of hyper demon children and it hit me how much I really would not like to live by the sea. Sure its nice to go to the beach when we are blessed with nice weather and I do enjoy it occasionally, but I don’t get the big deal like some people do, I mean if I lived by a beach I suppose its good in some ways because I could pass boring evenings by removing the excess sand from my bikini top and in between my toes which has built up during the day and build many sandcastles in my room until I have a huge sand kingdom of which I would been the queen (obvs), but apart from that it doesn’t appeal to me too much. I have spent many Summers in Cornwall by the sea trying to eat my fish and chips while being eyed up by vicious, flesh eating seagulls who have in the past attacked by parents and stolen my brothers ice-cream. The signs that say ‘Please do not feed the seagulls.’ is not respected by many people and people do have sympathy for them so continue to feed them. I don’t. They are evil and I am hungry. So many days have ended in the past with me standing in a busy fishing village having an emotional breakdown about how I refuse to eat outside incase I get attacked (or eaten whole), but in the end I never win because my parents get moody and I end up starving or taking home chips for later (which go soggy by the time I get to eat them, vom.) I also hate that beachy feeling of your hair when you get home and you feel like you could shower for four days because of sand, salt and seaweed. Some people may say that I complain too much, but unless you are Danny Zuko then don’t expect me to spend many Summer days on the beach with you!
As I watch my brother irritate me unnecessarily each passing day of my life I often wonder what God was busy doing when Satan decided to swoop in and throw simple minded, yet very appealing creatures onto the earth to join us lovely females. Of course some of them are fine (Jack Dawson and Peter Pan) but in general they are pretty confusing. Firstly, what annoys me is that when you say the words ‘I kinda like you’ to a boy they seem to hear the words ‘Hi how would you like to take out a mortgage and father my children?’ and freak out about too much commitment! Like chill out mate there’s not a hope in hell I’m going to ask you to be the unfortunate man who marries me while Zac Efron is still on the market! Secondly, they speak in strange code, this may include words such as ‘man’ and ‘buddy’. Chances are if you’re looking for the shift and call me any such name then I will just presume that all hope is gone for us and I don’t need to shave my legs around you anymore! This leads me onto the way they text…’haha’ and ‘ya’ are not acceptable responses to my long, thrilling story about what I am at. I’m hoping that there will come a time in my life when they are less confusing than the Leaving Cert maths course. Of course I am complaining about all of this now and I will continue to complain about it for the remainder of my teenage years, but lets face it, no matter how many times I say ‘I am so done with boys’ or ‘I hate him now, like I’m so over him, he’s not even that hot anymore’, I don’t mean a single word because the second another girl comes on the scene World War 3 will begin along with the bitching sessions and evil plotting over a cup of tea at lunch time with my army of girlfriends.
Ok, so I know absolutely nothing about blogs, or computers really! I get easily frustrated so this took me a bloody long time to figure out but I finally made it pink, woo! I like to write and tell long stories which many people tend to zone out of so I decided to make a blog to rant about these dilemmas in my life (running out of teabags, unplucked eyebrows, lack of hairclips etc) I’ll try to do this as often as I can and try to keep everybody entertained! If you have any suggestions please let me know 🙂 and if you dont like my blogs well then dont tell me because like why would you? Hehe sound guys xo