When I googled the definition of "too much" the first thing that popped up was "An intolerable, impossible, or exhausting situation or experience."
With me, I have heard...
- "You're too much."
- "You cry too much."
- "You care too much."
- "You talk too much."
One time a guy actually told me the way I act is too much. The truth is, he was right. I am too much. Everything I do is too much. My heart doesn't work in halves and I don't want to hand control of this over to someone who doesn't respect this because this passion is absolutely consuming and somebody needs to really want it before they can fully benefit from it. Needless to say, I didn't talk to him after this. I stared at my phone in complete horror before calming down and thanking every saint, ancestor and dead pet for helping me dodge what could have been one of the most confidence damaging bullets of my life. Some things would really make you realise why Beyonce released Irreplaceable - for those people who try to convince you that your personality caused you to make a huge mistake and with relationships these days I really could have another him in a minute and that's the scary thing, wanting the Beast but ending up with another Gaston.
The same guy told me I cry too much, but he can join the club! Men who fear water works would want to stay well away from me because I cry so much it's actually a miracle the government have never tried to charge me. I have always been a sensitive and emotional person, tears are an obvious symbol of many of my strongest emotions and overtime my friends associated me with my famous phrase "Why are my eyes watering?" Anytime a man tells me I cry too much, this would be followed by my mind asking myself my own phrase "Why are my eyes watering?" to express my complete anger and embarrassment for myself. This eye watering can occur in his presence or in the privacy of my bedroom as I'm reading a text but as I'm writing this I don't feel embarrassed by my tear ducts, in fact, I'm glad they're alive and well because I have every right to express how I feel if I'm hurt or moved by something.
Now, when it comes to my motormouth, the funny thing about being told I talk too much is the fact that when I was little I never used to talk, my parents were worried about me for the first few years of my life because I just never said anything, even on videos you just see me skipping past the camera every so often until my mum says "Fe, do you need a wee?" and even at that I just nod and run upstairs. Clearly I have made up for this lack of communication since, and even though I have been told I talk too much, this has led me to the ability of standing up for myself, saying how I feel and speaking out about what I feel is right. I will never let people talk down to me, because how can you silence the girl who talks too much?
These days, passions are seen as flaws. A woman who gives something her all and holds something close to her heart is seen as too much and too vibrant for those around her. People look down on her for feeling or acting the way she does, but isn't it amazing to know she's really living by feeling everything so deeply? Maybe we do care too much, we care too much about what other people think about us. Isn't too much so much better than not enough? People will remember the hurricane, but they won't remember the light breeze.
On a less heavy note, never forget - You can never be too much and you can never eat too much pizza! *See image below* Honestly, have I ever looked more content?