Sunday, 19 March 2017

The Fear

Since it is finally Sunday (longest weekend ever) and I have had the opportunity all day to reflect on my life whilst dying a little, I have decided to write a short, light hearted post about the fear. If you have never heard of the fear, I would like you to know that there is actually nothing light hearted about it. The only way I can describe it is as something that consumes you and quite easily ruins your life. After a heavy night of drinking you will wake up to 73 Snapchats you can't even remember but yet at the time decided it was a good idea to send to every lad on your contact list, there will be 45 texts abusing your ex who you broke up with four years ago, a load of nip slips on your Snapchat story that went unnoticed the night before, you will also have to mentally prepare yourself before you open your handbag to check for your favourite lipstick which is now long gone and probably sitting in a toilet cubicle somewhere along with your dignity, tears, age card and possibly your best friend who you more than likely lost twenty minutes into the night.

The only way to truly escape the fear is by not drinking, something I was supposed to be doing last night until I woke up this morning with the realisation that I in fact did not listen to my own advice... AGAIN. For me, the fear is usually waking up on Sunday morning and staring at the ceiling in complete and utter horror drowning in the lingering smell of kebab in my bedroom until the 73 Snapchats get opened and my ex leaves me on read or replies, which are both equally as annoying as each other. Sorry hun, I'm not the same gal I was six hours ago, I'll talk to you next Saturday instead!

I had avoided the fear for a good while, being so wary of my alcohol intake considering two sips in I usually end up crying about anything and everything. There was also a time when I ended up throwing a slice of fruit at a guy as a way of handling the situation. Yessss let me fire this slice of fruit at his head and miss, that will really show him! No, the only thing it showed me was how dreadful my aim is and that drink makes me more bitter than the actual lemon itself. Also, my pride in that moment looked as pathetic as the squashed lemon slice on the floor. Ladies, I would not recommend it unless your aim is at least 400 times better than mine and he has a wide head. Ohhhh the fruit, ohhhh the fear.

Anyway, to finish off this post, I would just like to remind all of you that we all have the fear and people probably don't remember what you did because they're so busy trying to slow down their heart rate as they're staring at their bedroom ceiling trying to piece together the antics of the night, lemons and all. No matter how good her Instagram selfie is, there was definitely more to that night than the caption.

Hope you all enjoyed this post and are recovering from the long weekend! Don't panic about dealing with the consequences when you meet your friends/co-workers tomorrow morning, just avoid eye contact at all costs until at least Tuesday afternoon...

Have a lovely week everybody! xx


Side note: Please see picture below which shows me trying to smile and be cool about the fact I'm three vodkas in but forgot to put any fruit or veg in my clutch...oooops...

Oh, another side note, anyone else LOVING fishnets lately?! Yes I am changing the subject, we can't dwell on the weekend forever people, life goes on...



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