To be honest, in life, there are two things I avoid on a daily basis - 1: Joining the gym and 2: Older people who like to ask 'So what are you up to these days?' Seriously Barbara, are we really going here again? My bedroom, hair and love life are all reflections of the messiness of my life right now, so to be honest, I honestly don't have a clue what I'm up to these days. When does it get to the stage where you're completely comfortable career, love and friendship wise? When does everything sort of just fall into place? Will that happen by itself or do we need to give it a good old nudge? When can we start to say 'be grand' without checking your purse to realise you spent a completely unnecessary €60 you didn't really have anyway on jagerbombs, kebabs and jeans in a size too small because you've obviously set completely unrealistic diet goals? Anyone have any answers, nah?
Sometimes it may just seem like we're floating in and out of situations, but I'm just presuming that's what your twenties are all about. I spend my weekends out and about and my weekdays asking myself 'Why did I do that? What was I thinking?' I also tend to do things repeatedly even though I already knew better. Again, I'm hoping (really hoping) that's what my twenties are for - living, loving and learning. Surely I can't be the only person who gets in a total over the top sweat when someone asks me questions about my life? I usually just say 'Yeah it's great, you know yourself' because it sounds a bit better than 'I have no idea what I'm doing, the fear is still lurking since last Sunday morning, I spend all my money on make-up and clothes, I keep going back to toxic relationships and I'm still hoping this is just baby fat and not here to stay.' You feel me?
I'm starting to struggle to tell whether this slightly unforch lifestyle is normal for every 20-year-old female or just happening to me because all of my characteristics resemble Bridget Jones? If anything unfortunate and embarrassing could happen to a girl, I can guarantee you it's happened to me. There have been many occasions where I've wanted the ground to swallow me up and wondered okay can I just go back and start this year all over again please? I have people to edit out and decisions to change and rethink. Sometimes my life just needs a 'pause', 'rewind' and (bloody huge and noticeable) 'cancel' button. Don't get me wrong, my life may be all over the place but at least I'm not in it alone... right girls? RIGHT? The real world most definitely isn't easy and Katy Perry's question of 'Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?' has never been more relatable. Well yes Katy, I do. Now please send several of those multi-millions my way. Thanks hun.
I've noticed lately that things really happen when you're least expecting them and not waiting for them. So maybe our lives will eventually fall into place as they're meant to and we don't need to have it all planned out, but knowing me it still won't be boring and I'm sure there are still many more Miss Jones moments yet to come...