Saturday, 31 October 2015

The Five Types Of People You Meet Trick Or Treating

I love Halloween and I love Trick or Treating. I actually wish I was doing it this year but unfortunately I'm on the alcohol rather than the monkey nuts! Anyway, when I was little we always used to go Trick or Treating and I have many fond memories of it, here are the people you meet and the thoughts that were constantly running through my 8-year-old mind on Halloween...

1. The sugar rush ruiner
Why is there always a woman who decides to give you an apple? Girl, look, I don't mean to be ungrateful but I could have found that in my fruit bowl at home, I've walked a good ten minutes for this. You give me one every year and seem to think I'm delighted with it so maybe I need to change my facial expression...


2. The Scrooge of Halloween
Okay, I just saw you in your sitting room watching Coronation Street and then you closed the curtains when you saw me coming. I'm gonna keep knocking anyway, gotta give it to the apple lady at least she opens the door. Lighten up!


3. The ones who delay the whole process
Look, at this rate we're gonna be here until Christmas and I won't get to go down to the local Halloween disco to see the love of my life. You don't think I spent 3 hours applying green face paint and fake warts to impress my parents friends, do you? 


4. The house you never forget
I always remember one year I went to a house and the man said "We're going on holiday tomorrow morning so you might as well just have all the sweets in our house!" Wired is an understatement...


5. The willpower testers
Most people just give you whatever when trick or treating, but some people actually ask what you would prefer...well, money, but I can't say that because the vampire behind me is actually my mum and she will kill me later...


Ah make the most of the years of witches and sweets, because in no time they will be replaced with inappropriate Disney Princesses, sexy cats, and lots of vodka! Hey, the truth hurts...

Happy Halloween everybody! Have a good one! :) xxx

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