Monday, 14 September 2015

Five Things I Can Never Understand About The Male Species

I very much doubt I'm alone when I say men are difficult creatures to understand. They think completely differently to women and are just from another planet altogether. Some things stand out more than others, and for me it's these five...

1. The boy room smell
A mix of lynx, a lingering scent from a gear bag and the occasional bit of fresh air from the window their mum probably risked her life to open. Why does every boys room smell like this but girls rooms don't? Or am I just immune to the girl smell because of the fact I am a part of the female species?



2. Their extraordinary skill of playing mind games
Okay, you aren't bright enough to cop onto the simple fact that I am head over heels in love with you, yet you are smart enough to concoct a plan where you text me non stop for two days and then stop replying for another three weeks and then like other girls selfies to make me jealous but then return from the depths of hell to tell me you think I'm pretty so that I fall back into the trap? Honestly, what secret male training is there to teach them how to control a girls thoughts and all her emotions? and where do I sign up for the female alternative?



3. Facebook likes
You literally like every single photograph under the sun yet somehow my constant profile picture change goes completely unnoticed every. single. time. Dropping a like every now and then wouldn't kill ya. I am stunning after all, there's no need to hide from the beauty...



4. When they like people we hate without our permission
Excuse me, that girl I've never met irritates the life out of me for no particular reason, so how dare you tell me you don't have a problem with her? Please get away from me, I really cannot be around you when you're acting so irrational... just go marry her already.



5. When they don't get the hint that we're annoyed with them
Or maybe they realise and are just choosing to ignore it? Well either way, it's annoying. I can only dramatically sigh and say "I'm fine" so many times. I am obviously not fine, I'm annoyed and bored of trying to make you notice. Shower me with chocolate, affection and shirtless pictures of Zac Efron ASAP before I kill you.




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