Friday, 8 August 2014

Things Men Do That Women Don't Get

No matter how much we long for men in our lives (don't deny it), it is no secret that we want to kill them 98 percent of the time. What is it in our nature that makes men and women so different? Why can't both genders come to a mutual agreement on which way to leave the toilet seat?

Why do men find it so difficult to understand that we need an emotional breakdown at least once a week in order to make it through the next week? Sometimes I just need to cry for no reason at all, this is usually met with a hug from my mum and a "What you crying about this time?" from my dad. Equally, when I'm sick my mother is full of affection but my dad doesn't notice. Of course this dramatically changes when our household is hit by a severe case of man flu.

Why don't boys have friends with names other than "man" and "bud"? This is of course joined by that pointless firm male handshake in social situations and drop crotch trousers. Was this view of your boxers really necessary? I don't even know you. I don't want swag, I want a good old fashioned gentleman. When did hugging go out of fashion?

Why can't men ever admit that another man is good looking? I will gladly express my undying love for Cheryl Cole's dimples and Michelle Keegan's bod but as soon as I mention Brad Pitt he is either too short or "he's alright, nothing on me though". Ah yes you're right, nothing on you, that's why Jennifer Aniston is your ex girlfriend and you have a family with Angelina Jolie!

Lets face it, we can't live with men and we can't live without them. We wish it was possible to keep the earth populated with females only, but Science isn't that advanced yet. So until that time comes we will have to learn to cope with vile male sounds which they find so hilarious and the lingering smell after it. God help us all.


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