Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Countdown Of Annoying Dad Habits

My Dad Steve is quite an eccentric man, so I decided he would be a lot of fun to write about! Here is a countdown of all his annoying habits, I could have gone on forever...

20) When he refers to my sister and I as 'Flea' and 'Meredith' Flea...really?

19) 'Fe, since when don't you like Spaghetti Bolognese?' SINCE THE 4TH OF JANUARY 1996.

18) When he continues to call my bestfriend Amy 'Amy Turtle' 8 years down the line...Who the hell is Amy Turtle? 

17) When he says 'That gets right on my tripe!' I have recently been informed tripe is cows intestines or something vile like that. Where is the logic? 

16) When out of nowhere he says to me 'Your skin is bad because you don't eat enough greens' Sound dad ily x 

15) 'Go up and help your mother' You bloody go up and help her, you married her! 

14) 'I recorded this great song for you the other day' I wasn't even aware that they had music in the Stone Age...

13) When Cavan has been glued to the tv all day and I walk downstairs after spending the last 7 hours doing a comparative question and dad says 'Fe you make the tea, you've been in bed all day!' 

12) When I'm all done up to go out and he says 'Bloody hell Fe, if that frock gets any shorter you'll have two more cheeks to powder!'. Firstly, sound? And secondly, who says frock in 2014? Equally as irritating when I'm all done up and he says 'Are you gonna get ready to go out then?' 

11) When I tell him I saw a hot guy on a night out and he responds with 'Invite him over for tea then, I want to see what he's made of' Um yeah that could be a slight problem Dad seeings as he isn't even aware of my existence...

10) 'Send him a Facebook message there, we used to be great mates in 1974' 

9) Playing it cool around friends and he suddenly puts on a really strong West Country or Irish accent and starts singing songs like 'I've got a brand new combine harvester' (See link below, good luck.) To this day I still can't quite work out where he's from but the Cornish and Bristolian phrases must have played some role in his childhood...

8) When you're heartbroken and he says 'Better off without the buggers, a friend in need is a bloody nuisance!' 

7) Or when you're crying and he says 'Never mind, move on' Never the time...

6) Sometimes he randomly says people's names out of nowhere that you haven't heard for ages...Danny Rivers...Gary Phillips...we tend to ignore him...

5) The car journey to school in the mornings...his version of 'don't look back in anger' had me looking back in anger...

4) His spontaneous spring cleans of the sitting room during the end of a film or the season finale of your favourite tv show! 

3) When he spends all day watching the football results. Why are there always football results? How often can Man Utd play?

2) Football transfer news..like do we really care? 

1) When he FINALLY changes the channel from football...but then puts on rugby instead...

1 comment:

  1. Excellent very entertaining and witty, you observe life very well Flea ;) x

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